Thursday, February 26, 2009
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Well you know those weekends where you think you've got it all planned out and it turns out everything changes. Yep we've had one of those.
Friday turned out that Brinn got invited over to a friends to play after school, Brett already had plans to have a friend come over and watch one of their guy movies in the theater room. So instead of hanging at home, I thought cool I'll get my grocery shopping out of the way, and I can do it by myself. (I like going by myself, no one asking for this or that just get my list and go). So after I got home from the store, I headed over to my daughters friends. They live 3 streets behind us so I walked. It was about 8pm. Our other friends were there so we hung out and talked, next thing you know it's 10pm. It wasn't planned but it was fun.
Saturday morn, Brinn was up as usual and I got up around 8:30, then Brett about an hour later. Things seemed fine, we were planning to go visit our mom's after I got back from my WW meeting. While I was having my tea, Brinn says mom my shoulders really hurt, so I rubbed them. Then she says her forehead hurts like she banged it, and she was cold. Now Brinn is rarely cold, this is a girl who would wear flipflops and shorts all year round, and her idea of a winter jacket is a sweatshirt. Brinn is also notorious for spiking fevers out of no where, but the checked the thermometer and so she covered up with 3 blankets. Brett sent me to my meeting. When I left the meeting called home and yep she had a fever, 100.3. Stop at the store pick up some supplies and head home.
I sent Brett to visit his mom and his Grandma. Brett's grandma was in the hospital on Thursday she has ephasima and she's 84, and the ephasima is getting worse. Brett went over and had lunch with his mom, and then spoiled his Gma as he calls her with her favorite things.
Brinn's fever went all the way up to 103.6, and we had one stomach incident involving Gatorade fruit punch. And she slept on and off all day Saturday and Saturday night. So no church this morning and on and off fevers. She's on the road to feeling better, she's at about 101.00 and Tylenol seems to do the trick. Guess I'll be home tomorrow and lovin on my girl.
It's funny whenever Brinn gets sick I go back when she was a baby. It's just me and her, she wants cuddles and to be fed. With 103 fever she really is a bit wobbly so I indulge. She curls up on my lap, and falls asleep. I can't help but love it, and soak in the comfort of being able to protect her, and that she thinks I'm the best mom in the world. I realize the fact is it won't be long before she won't be able to fit in my lap and all the things that make her sad I won't be able to fix. I pray over my her all the time for the Lord to keep a hedge of protection around her.
Now I have a prayer request for Brett's grandma his mom called and she had to go back to the hospital again, she's having severe trouble breathing. We are comforted by Grandmas relationship with the Lord, and we don't know anymore than that are keeping her overnight. So right now we just ask for the Lord to comfort her, and for doctor's wisdom in treating her.
I want to thank all of you for your prayers regarding my work meeting. It did turn out well. Working for a company as small as ours, there can be some interesting tension. People tend to complain to each other then it filters around becomes gossip, and then blows up out of proportion. That's what was happening. But I soaked in God's word, and prayed to have His will, and His words and the meeting actually ended on a good note.
On another note, God has also answered the prayers offered for me regarding my health. In the 8 years since I've been diagnosed I have had the best test results I've ever had. Praise God!
So I hope all of your weekends were blessed.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Thursday, February 19, 2009
13bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you.
I needed to be reminded of this this morning. This entire verse is so powerful. It is no small thing being called God's beloved. This is not the love we feel for even those closes to us, this is the love of God. Think about it God's love for us is incomprehensible. The American Heritage Dictionary definition says this "Difficult or impossible to understand or comprehend; Impossible to know or fathom: incomprehensible mysteries. Having no limits; boundless."
Paul also tells us in Ephesians 1:6 to the praise of the glory of His grace which He freely bestowed on us in the Beloved." In this passage my study notes say this. "Because believers are accepted in Him, then they like Him are beloved of God." God loves us like He loves Jesus, His one and only son.
I'm in awe of the fact that I am God's beloved. I am struggling with an issue regarding work today. It has brought up much anxiety for me, today I reminded with this scripture how small this issue is, as I am reminded I am the Almighty God's beloved, a love that is limitless, unshakable, boundless. That what ever anxiety I have today regarding work, whatever the outcome is my God is so much bigger than that. That God will be with me today and always, and that I am his representative, and I am His beloved.
So whatever you are facing today remember that you are God's Beloved, a love that is bigger than anything we may encounter.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Friday, February 13, 2009
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
HOPE! That is what this chapter is all about. Jennifer shares with us the way an unknown Psalmist talks to his soul. "Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me?" Psalm 42:5 The Psalmist is talking to his soul trying to figure out what is making him feel so sorrowful. As Jennifer called it "honest soul exploration" first being honest with yourself that feel despair, and then asking your soul why. What is making you feel troubled, and searching for the source.
I have to say that this little section alone is so important. How many times have we beat up on ourselves for feeling sad, negative, fearful, or anxious. How many of us have heard that Christians aren't suppose to feel those things, that if we do we don't have enough faith. Well guess what we do and it's okay it's normal. This is when it's time though to sit down and have a good old fashion talk with your soul, and find out where the despair comes from. This is where God teaches us to look to Him to fill our souls and find our Hope. This is where God shows us that the things of the world cannot give us hope. This is when we learn to lean and trust in God. When we are in despair we must find out where it comes from so we can begin healing from it.
Jennifer says: "Despair won't go away just because we ignore it, run from it, drown it out, or deny it. A soul in despair must be honest enough to admit the truth. That's where it all begins."
When we first started this study, I shared back in Chapter 2 how I was feeling very down and frustrated, so much so that my husband was worried that I might be slipping into a depression. That day I sat down, started praying, and asking God to show me what was causing this sadness. I knew I didn't feel right in my spirit, and I didn't want to slip deeper.
I love how Jennifer has us visualize a table and the stability of it's four legs as the balance in our life. "When one of the essential areas of our lives is loose, damaged, neglected, or removed, we will be shaky and imbalanced. We will easily tip and fall into despair." Just like a table if one of the legs are broken or even loose it becomes unsteady or worse falls. Like a table we have four essential supports, ironically as I read through these I realized that I had been working on strengthening these supports, since that day I posted on Chapter 2.
Emotional Leg: "Emotions are valid and important gifts from God. But because they can be very powerful and very present, we can easily believe they represent facts. -- Our problems usually have less to do with our circumstances than with the way we choose to feel about them. --Remember, feelings aren't the same things as facts." I think we can all relate to making decisions based on our emotions. I've made many decisions that were based on my emotions, and they usually ending up a mess. These have involved financial decisions, relationship decisions, work related decisions just to name a few. This leg needs constant monitoring, I always have to stop and check my emotions, and pray for wisdom.
Physical Leg: "Never discount the impact of physical wellness on our souls' wellness. Your body needs adequate rest, healthy food, and moderate exercise." I can definitely relate to this one. My physical leg has been out of whack for the last year. Having my illness I need to be aware of my bodies needs. When I neglected them or ignored them, as I did in 2007, it brought me into a relapse in my health, which then affected every other part of my life and my families life. Only recently have I realized how much I needed to make some changes again. Things I had done but let go of. Resting when my body felt tired, not over committing to things, eating healthy, and exercising had lost as one of my priorities. Then I would become hard on myself when I had saw where it had taken me. I cannot cure my illness only God can, but he has given me the tools and the knowledge to take better care of myself. So this leg right now is under repair.
Mental Leg: "Brains like to be challenged. Your mind needs to have something to do, or it will create something to do -- something that might not be so constructive." When I think of all the time I spent watching TV. Not just something new, or interesting, but reruns of shows I'd seen 2 or 3 times talk about idle brain. Now I don't mean to offend, but I have pretty much put the majority of TV out of my life. I really haven't found anything worth watching that should suck up my precious free time to watch. I've been reading more, love reading my Message Daily Bible, books, and blogs. I have also found that blogging has given me a way to work my mind and write my thoughts and expand on them. Of course I love to create too, that really gets my brain working. So stimulate that brain, with things of value, and that bring you enjoyment. My hubby always teases me says how do you know all this stuff, I just say I don't know I read it somewhere.
Spiritual Leg: "A deep longing resides in each of us that only God can meet. Neglecting this longing doesn't make it go away. It will only continue to grow, and left untended, it leads to a sort of melancholy of the soul. -- When our spiritual needs aren't met, we experience the effects physically, emotionally, and mentally. -- Your spiritual nature is the part of you that is eternal. It's the part of you that will live forever and longs to commune with the eternal God. -- As we transfer trust from ourselves to Him, we find deep satisfaction, and our longing is fulfilled." Oh how true this is. I feel it every time I've drifted away from spending time with God, when I've slipped into the "Sunday Christian Mode". It's affected my life in huge ways. That's when I make decisions based on feelings, or slip into mind numbing entertainment, and lack of physical motivation to take care of myself. My time with God is so precious to me. I have such a hunger to read the word, and learn more about God, and what His plan is for me. I talk to God all the time like he's sitting right next to me, like I would talk to a friend sitting with me. It's apparent to me that strengthening that Spiritual Leg will keep the others from needing so much repair.
LOOK UP: HOPE IN GOD!
HOPE! It such a small word with such a huge impact. Jeremiah 29:11 has been my life verse since I first gave my life to the Lord it was the first verse I ever memorized, " For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you HOPE and a future" This verse carried me through the uncertainty of being a single mom, when God brought me back to work, when I got sick, when my husband admitted his addictions, and through many other trials. God is our HOPE and He promises that to us. It may not be the future we expected, but it's what He knows is best for us, and so I HOPE in his plan for me. This verse is in big beautiful letters written on the walls of my thought closet, when I feel despair and am crying out to God I repeat this over and over like a chant, and He brings me peace.
I love the story she shared about the women's husband Bruce that is a quadriplegic. When people asked him if he couldn't wait to get to heaven so he could walk his reply was so powerful " 'I'm not so interested in getting to heaven so I can walk or run or jump,' he replies. ' I long for heaven because there I can kneel.'" Wow, have you ever met someone like that. I have, she's my daughters best friends mother, she inspires me with her hope and her faith. She has MS and is confined to a wheel chair, mostly bed now. She's in and out of the hospital for seizures, and yet when ever I go over to her house she is always smiling, she is always concerned for others, and she never complains. Now of course I don't live with her so I'm sure she has her moments, but I really don't believe that she could endure without her Hope in Christ, and her husbands hope in Christ. When I feel whinny about my illness I think of her. I call her just to chat, because she reminds me to Look Up.
Jennifer reminds us, "When we look up, we broaden our view and are able to see that our losses remind us of all that we have received. Hope is lost when we focus only on our own problems. But choosing hope widens our perspective."
Jennifer asked the question what do we put our hope in? In these times in our country people are putting their hope in all kinds of places, false religions, people, government, self help books, it's heart breaking. So many people are living in uncertainty. My friend just told me today that her husband was let go from work. Here in California, our budget still hasn't passed, and they are making cuts all over the different agencies. Of course there is all the other things going on in our country, and the world around us. I hear so much fear in peoples voices, and the majority of people seem to be putting their hope in our new President. I'm sure he's a nice guy, but let's be realistic he's just a man, so he is not where my hope lies. The presidents power is limited. If we put our hope in earthly things our hope will perish. "Such is the destiny of all who forget God; so perishes the hope of the godless." Job 8:13. So where do I put my hope. MY HOPE IS IN THE LORD. My Lord has no limits. "But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles: they will run and not grow weary, the will walk and not be faint." Isiah 40:31. I have to put my HOPE in the Lord, if I don't I will end up trembling under some broken table somewhere, not sleeping, worried about things that haven't happened yet, and things I can't control. I don't want to live that way, I don't have to either.
This quote from Jennifer's book is where I want to be, "The most hopeful people I know are those who place their trust n God. Liberated from the need to always be in control, they are able to rest in Him rather than struggle to avoid difficulties in this life. They don't become hopeless because their hope is in God, not in themselves or the alleviation of their circumstances." My hope in God has carried through many difficult trials in this last 9 1/2 years, and it fills me now even when so many around me have no hope. My prayer is that all my family and friends who don't know the Hope I have found in God, will come to find it. I would love to share it with you. It's a gift God gave us that He wants us to pass on.
Monday, February 9, 2009
My new blog friend Christine at Wash, fold, put away, and repeat, had a drawing and I won. I was super excited.
Make sure you stop by her blog, she has a fun blog and a beautiful heart. I especially like to days post about her 3 special guests.
And just for clarification I can even eat my chocolate bar on Valentines day because it's only 5 points, so it will be my special treat, to celebrate a day of love, and my 10 lbs I lost.
Thank you Christine, you rock!
1. Darling Husband: or my dh as I refer to him on the scrapbook forums. Watching him grow with God has been such a great privilege to see. He's such a wonderful husband and father.
2. Daughter: I love my Brinn she is the gift that God gave me that I didn't know I needed. It was the love I had for her that God used that finally opened my heart and eyes to Him.
3. Dogs: I love all shapes and sizes. I've had 9 dogs in my life, and twice there were 3 at a time.
4.Devotional Time: I love the time I get to spend with God in worship and study, and listen for His voice.
5. Days Off: Both with my family, and by myself.
6. Donuts: This is why I'm on Weight Watchers. I love Apple Fritters, Maple Bars with custard. I must not think about donuts.
7. Designing: Scrapbook pages, altering projects, journals, canvas projects, anything that has to do with art and using my hands. The more ink and paint the better.
8. Digital Camera: I love my cameras, being able to take photos and not having to wait and see if they turned out.
9. Decorating Shows on HGTV. One of the few times I watch tv, I love to watch decorating shows. I don't actually decorate my home, but if I ever do I'm full of ideas.
10. Driving by myself, with my worship music loud, so I can sing as loud as I want to the Lord, and know that He finds it beautiful.
And here is my picture of my daughter Brinn and our dog Nikita. Aren't they too cute.
Let me know if you want to play, leave me a comment, and I'll give you a letter.
Hugs from Brinn and Nakita too.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
2 I cry out to God Most High,
3 He sends from heaven and saves me,
4 I am in the midst of lions;
5 Be exalted, O God, above the heavens;
6 They spread a net for my feet—
7 My heart is steadfast, O God,
8 Awake, my soul!
9 I will praise you, O Lord, among the nations;
10 For great is your love, reaching to the heavens;
11 Be exalted, O God, above the heavens;
Monday, February 2, 2009
But as I watched this movie on Friday night it was the song, "While I'm Waiting" by John Waller, that I loved the first time, but this time it put my dear friend Paula, better know to us in the blogshpere as Paula Sweet Pea, on my heart. This song reminded me of her this weekend as she patiently waits on God for answerer to her prayer.
I'm not sure how to embed a a video, something I could use help on if any of you want to share some advice, but here is a link to the video from the Fireproof "While I'm Waiting"
Paula, my prayer for you and your beloved continue. Love ya Girlfriend.
These are the Lyrics to.
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait
I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord