Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Saturday, April 25, 2009
She picks her own clothes (she has full leggins on though) has her own taste in music, and her own ideas and intrests. I see a lot of me in her, and that SCARES me. This is where I must turn all of my fears over to the Lord, and God is teaching me that He will walk with my daughter. Remember those bodyguards from the last chapter Goodness and Mercy, well God's given Brinn those bodyguards to.
Paul writes "If God is for us, who can be against us? -- Romans 8:31, then Micca reminds us if we claim this verse we must live it out, in all things. "Our children shouldn't see fear in us. We can't say with our mouths that we trust God and contradict that trust with our actions."
So now I'm adding to my simple prayer, asking God to teach me when "to guard and not to guard, when to protect and not to protect, and when to trade fear for faith" and to continue to help me teach her in your ways. I love Micca's advice about teaching our children "how to use God's Word as a handbook for decision making." Teaching Brinn Philippians 4:8 is already been set in motion.
It was a hard for me when I realized that going to public school in Jr. High was part of God's plan for Brinn. I had wanted her to go to a private Christian Jr. High and High school. I pushed that on her which put a lot of pressure on her regarding school, and on us financially. I was afraid of the environment, afraid of the agendas being pushed out here. Then God reminded me "Carol I'm bigger than the public school agendas and systems" oh yes, my God is Big, and Goodness and Mercy are with my Brinn. Yes Brinn , will feel lonely the first few weeks of school, because she won't know anyone then she'll have fights with her friends, and encounter "sandpaper people". I won't know every teacher in the school or every child that she spends her day with, but God will and I know He loves Brinn more deeply than I ever can imagine. She will come home with ideas and wants that we'll disagree over, but that's part of her growing and part of me learning to let her become the person God needs her to be.
Lord I love you, and I'm grateful for the way you live with us in our home everyday. I know that you walk with us, and ahead of us wherever we go and wherever we are headed. Lord give the strength and courage not to try and take control of your work. I want you as my Master Builder, you as the rock our family and faith is built upon. I know that you have a plan for each member of my family, and your plans are always for your glory, and what is right for us. Thank you Father. Amen
Friday, April 24, 2009
Monday, April 20, 2009
4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.
6 Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life,
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Jesus how can we not love someone who is described in this way. He's the perfect friend, father, husband, protector, counselor and He laid down His life for us. I'm choosing to follow Jesus, and listen to Him.
In chapter 3 once again I have so much highlighted that it's hard for me to post all the things that went through my head. So I'm going to share things that stuck with me all week.
God's shelters us from the storms. We are never promised a trouble free life, in fact we are told that trials will come our way. We will loose people we love to circumstances and death, we will suffer from illness, we will suffer financial stresses and loss, but through it all God will provide us the strength to endure, and give us a rest and peace to weather the storm. God sees the big picture, He knows how our trials will shape us
"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, 'He is my refuge and my fortress, my God in whom I trust' Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart" Psalm 91:1-4
Casting our Cares. I don't know about you but I think that's one of those Christanese terms that gets thrown around. I know it's one my husband use to hear when we first started going to church together, that one and "just give it to God" what does that mean he'd say. I heard it all the time too, but how many of us really understand what that means. I know I didn't, and I certainly couldn't explain it to Brett. For along time I had the same thought Micca did, if I cast my cares upon Him, as Peter said in 1 Peter 5:7 "cast all our cares upon God for he cares for you" that all my troubles would some how just go away. That didn't happen, and that's not what Peter meant. Micca explains it better than I here; "The point is that when you and I cast our cares on God, we are recognizing that it's His responsibility to care for us-not ours." We still have to endure the trial, but God will grow us through it, and provide for our needs as we endure. "We only see what's happening to us at the moment. God may allow events to come into our lives--good things and bad things, things that make sense and things that don't. Every one of these incidents serves as part of His plan for our lives. What you and I may think is harmful, God is using for our good--to bring us to completion in godly conduct and character." I know very well that it's hard to see in the midst of the trial, but it's true. We must continue to have faith, and assurance that God is with us in it.
Genuine Faith, this one I really a wow moment. This past 2 1/2 years I have spent more time in the scriptures than I have since I first came to know the Lord. I read, and listen to teachings, and discuss faith with all my blog ladies, and friends here and in the non cyber land. I have noticed the change in my ability to recall His promises, changes in my heart, and a much more unshakable strength in my faith. I hadn't really put my finger on it until I read this "My faith in God didn't begin to grow until I started studying the Bible and discovering who He really is. In fact, I had misconceptions about God and about faith, and those ideas fed my fears." I have friends and family that are not followers of Christ, and when Brett and I went through our marriage trial, I had fears of his relapse back into painkillers and pornography, many of people would say just have faith that he won't. Huh how can I faith in my husband when I don't have trust in him. No the only thing that relieved my fears was knowing that it wasn't me that was in control it was Jesus, and if Brett did relapse Jesus would be with me to bring me through it.
I heard a lot about people putting their faith in their "Higher Power". But their "Higher Power" were things like the ocean, and some unseen unknown entity, or even the "program" itself, it was really faith in nothing. Well folks their is now higher power other than Jesus, and many of the people I met who didn't know Jesus lived in fear, and could find no peace. It was sad. We must get to know God so that we know who our faith is in, and to know Him you must "spend time with God in His Word". This is not the "god of my own understanding", after all that's a god I make up to suit my needs, this is the God of the Bible, the One True God.
Live like you believe. In the last few months, I will not say I have not feared with all the uncertainty that plagues our country. I will tell you that the fear I felt, I was quickly able to let go of as I found strength in God's word, and the promises of his protection and provision. Now more than ever I find living out my faith and letting people know where my strength comes from is essential. People need to see the Hope that comes from living with Faith in the One True God, the Hope that came with Jesus' death and resurrection. "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen" Hebrews 11:1 NKJV. Brett and I don't know if we will keep our jobs, if will keep our house, or if my liver will relapse or even fail again, those are scary things. We do know one thing though our God, and our Savior Jesus will never leave us, He will provide for us, and He will give us the strength and peace to rest in Him knowing that it's His responsibility, not ours to take care of us, it's our responsibility to trust in Him and be obedient to His Word.
Next up Chapter 4, when I'm not sure. We are going up to my father in laws for a few days. So it maybe another combined post. We'd covet your prayers for a safe journey, and to be able to live our Faith to it's fullest while there.
In Him my friends,
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Saturday, April 11, 2009
4But when they looked up, they saw that the stone, which was very large, had been rolled away. 5As they entered the tomb, they saw a young man dressed in a white robe sitting on the right side, and they were alarmed.
6"Don't be alarmed," he said. "You are looking for Jesus the Nazarene, who was crucified. He has risen! He is not here. See the place where they laid him. 7But go, tell his disciples and Peter, 'He is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him, just as he told you.' "
8Trembling and bewildered, the women went out and fled from the tomb. They said nothing to anyone, because they were afraid.
12Afterward Jesus appeared in a different form to two of them while they were walking in the country. 13These returned and reported it to the rest; but they did not believe them either.
14Later Jesus appeared to the Eleven as they were eating; he rebuked them for their lack of faith and their stubborn refusal to believe those who had seen him after he had risen.
15He said to them, "Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation. 16Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved, but whoever does not believe will be condemned. 17And these signs will accompany those who believe: In my name they will drive out demons; they will speak in new tongues; 18they will pick up snakes with their hands; and when they drink deadly poison, it will not hurt them at all; they will place their hands on sick people, and they will get well."
19After the Lord Jesus had spoken to them, he was taken up into heaven and he sat at the right hand of God. 20Then the disciples went out and preached everywhere, and the Lord worked with them and confirmed his word by the signs that accompanied it. Mark 16
Friday, April 10, 2009
Pilate answered, "What I have written, I have written."
When the soldiers crucified Jesus, they took his clothes, dividing them into four shares, one for each of them, with the undergarment remaining. This garment was seamless, woven in one piece from top to bottom. "Let's not tear it," they said to one another. "Let's decide by lot who will get it." This happened that the scripture might be fulfilled which said, "They divided my garments among them and cast lots for my clothing."So this is what the soldiers did.
Later, knowing that all was now completed, and so that the Scripture would be fulfilled, Jesus said, "I am thirsty." A jar of wine vinegar was there, so they soaked a sponge in it, put the sponge on a stalk of the hyssop plant, and lifted it to Jesus' lips. When he had received the drink, Jesus said, "It is finished." With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit.
John 19 28-30
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
So last night the project went underway. This is Brett's idea of a good time, resetting up his theater. He couldn't sleep he was so excited.
So as it stands right now my darling husband is exhausted, and is taking tomorrow off. The projector is hung, the system plays, and we sampled the first viewing of what else Star Wars Episode 4. I now have a 92" screen on my wall, and the new house projects are mounting. But my darling hubs is happy, and it's pretty cool. Of course I'll post some pictures after everything is done. And for those of you whose hubbies are saying wow honey can we do that, I'm sorry. And in answer to the other man questions, yes he has Blue Ray. Yes we could watch the Super Bowl or the World Series on it, and yes we can even hook up our Wii on it.
Saturday, April 4, 2009
So pop by and say hi.
Friday, April 3, 2009
For more ABC's of the Word make sure to stop by and visit our gracious host Pam at Grey Like Snuffie. She has inspired many of us to search through God's word in a new way. Make sure to stop and visit some of the other ladies who share their letter each week too.
This weeks Letter is H.
One for all of us ladies.
27She looks well to the ways of her household,
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Where do you begin a letter that involves one of the most important decisions and commitments that I will ever make in my life? If there is one thing I’ve learned in my 28 years of life on this planet it is to do all things in love. That’s what this letter is about my love for my most precious gift that God my father has given me the opportunity to do and that’s to adopt Brinn.
I will start with my own childhood experience which is similar to Brinn’s and that is my biological father left my mother, sister, and I the day before my ninth birthday. In actuality he hadn’t been there for several years before because he was devoting himself to another woman. The result of this was a lack of a father in my life, my sister’s life and my mom without a husband. I along with my family are still suffering from this loss today.
Over the years I have had low self esteem as a result of my fathers’ disappearance and had turned to the world for comfort. I found comfort in food, spending money and drugs to drown out my pain for many years.
I thank God that the story does not end there. Almost 6 years ago on March 4th I had my first date with my wife Carol and my daughter Brinn who was about 2 ¾ years old at the time. On our first date Brinn let me know she wasn’t going to share her mother very easily, because all night she would say to me “my mommy” in the most loving and serious tone. I look back now and I laugh because I can see God was telling me in the most simple way that if you want one you have to want both and I very much did. Six months later while out for ice cream Brinn asked me to be her Daddy and I tearfully agreed! On December 24th I asked Brinn if it would be okay if I married her mommy and she said yes, and Carol and I were engaged that evening. The three of us were married on May 16th 2003.
Over the next few years our pastor at the time would call us the perfect family in some ways we were, but in many other ways we were not, but what family is. Even though I still have issues from my past and current life to deal with I have always tried to be the best father for Brinn that she needs in her life.
I have talked about adopting Brinn for about 3 years now while learning what it means to be a parent who loves their child with his whole heart, a husband who loves his wife with his whole heart, and to love myself for who God created me to be and to love God. That being said I believe I am ready and fit to move forward in this adoption process. I have been given a new life as I have reached over 1 year of sobriety and turned all areas of my life over to God and he has blessed me more that I can tell you over the last year. I believe that God directs our steps and God has finally brought me on this journey and to the adoption of Brinn.
I want to adopt Brinn because she’s my daughter, the one who God has given to me. She’s my daughter in everyway but in a legal sense. Not only is she my daughter but she’s my friend, we have been through tough times together as a family, as a father daughter, and personal hurts and sadness. I have watched her grow since she was 2 ¾ years old to right now at the age of 8, we have laughed together, played together, run together, swam together, done homework together, been places together, and cried together, we have been a father and a daughter together. I try to give Brinn what every little girl needs from a father. I give her love, direction, purpose and security of knowing that this father won’t leave her. I would love to give her a father recognized through the legal system in order to give her a legal commitment in which she would be secure if something were to happen to her mother, (which is a possibility due to her illness of Autoimmune Hepatitis) that she wouldn’t loose the only father that’s cared for her. The adoption is also a statement of my commitment to her that I want the responsibility of being her legal father and I can only imagine the security she will get from that later in life.
The future is not promised to any of us, everyday we wake every breath we take is a gift from God. My wife and daughter are my 2 greatest gifts I’ve been given from God along with his saving grace. I Brett Lueckfeld pray that I will be granted the privilege of adopting Brinn, and being her father in everyway possible, in order to provide her a safe loving Godly upbringing that my wife and I want her to have.
Brett Carl Lueckfeld
Here we are with the judge. The stuffy Brinn picked is her monkey Momo. He's been her best bud this last year. Tonight we are off to Chili's Brinn's favorite restaurant to celebrate. I imagine Momo will come too. God has blessed us greatly.