Sunday, August 17, 2008

Just Can't Sleep

Well here it is Saturday night, or technically Sunday morning, and I can't sleep. It's part of the AIH flair, my body is fatigued, but the higher medicine disrupts my sleeping pattern. So I've been on and cruzed around there for a bit, so I thought I just stop in and write random thoughts see if I could make my brain tired. It's frustrating, and last night I kept dreaming about getting the call to come in my new liver was ready. Like I was picking up a pizza very strange.

Let's see we watched the Brinn's friends C & G today while their parents actually got to go out and do fun adult stuff. Something they don't get to do enough. There great people, theirs is the house the kids love to play at, and they are always willing to have the kids there. We were going to take the to play mini golf, but G got a tummy ache and actually came home and fell asleep. So they watched Star Wars, and other movies.

Got to have a nice talk with my brother Gary, gave him all the gory details on the doctor call, and talked about a few other life stuff. I miss him, I don't get to see him very much, and I'm bad about talking on the phone.

Brett was a laundry machine today, I worry about him, me being sick throws him off. This last 9 months have been a lot about me being sick, but other than the trip to the hospital this is the worst the AIH has been. He didn't know me when I went through the worst part, so my weird sleep patterns, disconnected personallity, and strange eating habits are taking some adjustments. Today all I really wanted to eat for dinner was zuchini and fruit. Yes strange. Although I did want pancakes this morning which was really weird, because so did he. Hmm maybe it's like sympathy pain.

I wanted to go play with the pictures I took at my mom's 80th party, but I just couldn't get motivated. People say to me why don't you scrapbook, but I just feel so unfocused. I go in my beautiful scraproom and feel completely overwhelmed. So I basically did nothing, which people kept telling me I'm suppose to be doing. I'm not good at being home sick, infact I hate it, of course that's why I wear myself out, because I'd rather do something than melt into the couch. Oh except I did go and get my threading done on my eyebrows and face.

I'm looking forward to church tomorrow, there is something about singing worship with a room full of people that lifts me. Maybe because we are all there singing and loving God together, yet sometimes I feel just like I'm the only one there with God. I remember the first time I sang worship at Highway, it was like coming home. I had been church shopping after moving back to Sunnyvale, and I had just not found a place that I felt like home, until that day. That was a little more than 8 years ago. It's changed in many ways, but it's still has such a feel of comfort for me.

So I guess I better go lay down now and try and sleep. I have to get up at 7am. Thanks for letting me whine.


1 comment:

Lily said...

I hope you finally got to sleep. I hate when you have so much going on in your head that your body just won't let you sleep. Thanks for the little peek into your life. I hope your flare uo lessens and you can get back to feelinglikeyourself.