Family Matters - Chapter 5

I'm slowly catching up on my posts for Tuesday's Yes to God Book Study. I'm actually in the same week as the chapter. Next week I will hopefully be closer to on time. So if this is your first visit to my blog. Welcome. Yes to God is hosted by Lelia at Write From the Heart, you can cruise over to her blog and see other's thoughts on the book too. The book you may have guessed is An Untroubled Heart by Micca Campbell you can stop by her sight as well.

So let's start this chapter addressed our fears as it relates to our family. Okay I know I say I find tons in every chapter, but this one I think Micca wrote it for me. In the beginning she shares a prayer she wrote in her journal asking God to care and protect her children, and she expresses her great love for her children, a love she didn't know was possible to have. I remember when Brinn was a new born in the hospital with me. I had to stay 4 nights how I would just stare at her in wonder and amazement of how much I loved her. I was content to just hold her and watch her sleep. I was a one month old Christian, and I remember praying for God to protect us, provide for us, and to show me how to be the mother that would please him.

Micca shared a quote from Bible teacher Adrian Rogers that just completely soothed my fearful heart. "The Holy Spirit finds the desire of God and puts that desire in our hearts. When we pray for what's been laid on our hearts, it goes right back to heaven in agreement with God's will." When Brinn was born, I was a new mom, and as I've shared before about to become a single mom, and a newborn myself in Christ. I didn't know really how to pray, but I knew my desire was to raise Brinn to know Jesus and to raise her in according to how God would want me to. I only knew one scripture verse by heart. "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11. This was what I would repeat over and over, and I've clung to this verse ever since. God is constantly answering my prayer, the same prayer I still pray today. Teach me to be the mother (and now wife) you want me to be, so people will see you in me and in my family.

Micca asks us do we parent out of fear or faith? I thought about this for a long time. I will be honest most of the time it's been fear, but I'm learning more and more how to parent on faith. Micca said (and I can't phrase it better than this) "A mom's most precious treasure is her family. I know. I'm a wife and a mother. I can't think of anything in this world that I love more or would fight for more than my family." Speak the truth sister. "The battle is on" Micca says as we go up against the many outside influences that seek to steal our children's hearts and minds. This world is scary and dangerous and with out a firm foundation for our children a place of safety and comfort from the evil ruler in this world who wants to succeed in pulling our children away from us and Jesus.

God though is our "Master Builder" Psalm 127 "provides us with the tools we need to build a home that is protected, peaceful, prosperous, and pleasing to the Lord: Unless the Lord builds the house it's builders labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain."

We need to give our families and our home to the Lord, so that we don't get in God's way with our ideas of how to build a secure and safe home. Without God what we build is really just a facade like on the back of an old movie lot. Looks great from the outside, but when you walk through the door, there is no house just a false front put up to look good. "We let our anxieties about family get in the way of God's building work." There is no safety from the storms, no walls to keep the things that you want to stay out away, just a false sense of a home. "When we let fear get in the way, it's like trying to build without the correct materials. It's only when we place our rusty hammers and saws in God's hands that He is able to do what we fail to do in our best human efforts."

I remember when Brinn was small I had fears. Those fears were easily removed because she was little and she fully dependent on me. You are their protector and their comfort. Everything you say is right, their opinions are minimal mostly to their foods, and they love to hug you. Brinn would give me these hugs with her whole little body. She'd wrap her legs around my rib cage, her arms around my neck and squeeze with all her might. It was such a sweet loving way of expressing how much she loved me. At this age it was so much easier to keep the ugly of the world out.

(she was a little chunk of love)

Now though she's headed for preteen. Brinn will be 10 in June, and is full of questions, opinions, and even though she goes to a small private Christian School is still exposed to the draws of the worlds. She also is a great observer, she watches and listens to everyone around her, including us. Brinn has experienced much in her short 10 years, she's sees her mama go through extreme health issues, she's lost to divorce first a father, then a step mom, 1/2 brother, and step sister, who she misses. I got remarried, and we went from the two of us to the three of us. She went through Brett's addiction as well as his recovery and watched his redemption, and then her adoption by Brett. Through this whole time she was watching me and Brett and how we handle things, what did we teach her?

"We teach our children fear instead of faith when we try to live in our own strength instead of depending on God's ability." Honestly through most of the last 10 years I believe that she has seen more faith than fear. I find it easier to give my problems and desperate times over to God, but when it comes to giving control over to my Heavenly Father of Brinn I falter.

Where my fear comes in that God has been working on is wanting to protect Brinn from the pain I felt as a child and mistakes I made growing up. I Fear Junior High School, and all the changes that come with it. Let's face it she's not my little chunky monkey she was in the picture above. This is Brinn just a few weeks ago.

She picks her own clothes (she has full leggins on though) has her own taste in music, and her own ideas and intrests. I see a lot of me in her, and that SCARES me. This is where I must turn all of my fears over to the Lord, and God is teaching me that He will walk with my daughter. Remember those bodyguards from the last chapter Goodness and Mercy, well God's given Brinn those bodyguards to.

Paul writes "If God is for us, who can be against us? -- Romans 8:31, then Micca reminds us if we claim this verse we must live it out, in all things. "Our children shouldn't see fear in us. We can't say with our mouths that we trust God and contradict that trust with our actions."

So now I'm adding to my simple prayer, asking God to teach me when "to guard and not to guard, when to protect and not to protect, and when to trade fear for faith" and to continue to help me teach her in your ways. I love Micca's advice about teaching our children "how to use God's Word as a handbook for decision making." Teaching Brinn Philippians 4:8 is already been set in motion.

It was a hard for me when I realized that going to public school in Jr. High was part of God's plan for Brinn. I had wanted her to go to a private Christian Jr. High and High school. I pushed that on her which put a lot of pressure on her regarding school, and on us financially. I was afraid of the environment, afraid of the agendas being pushed out here. Then God reminded me "Carol I'm bigger than the public school agendas and systems" oh yes, my God is Big, and Goodness and Mercy are with my Brinn. Yes Brinn , will feel lonely the first few weeks of school, because she won't know anyone then she'll have fights with her friends, and encounter "sandpaper people". I won't know every teacher in the school or every child that she spends her day with, but God will and I know He loves Brinn more deeply than I ever can imagine. She will come home with ideas and wants that we'll disagree over, but that's part of her growing and part of me learning to let her become the person God needs her to be.

Lord I love you, and I'm grateful for the way you live with us in our home everyday. I know that you walk with us, and ahead of us wherever we go and wherever we are headed. Lord give the strength and courage not to try and take control of your work. I want you as my Master Builder, you as the rock our family and faith is built upon. I know that you have a plan for each member of my family, and your plans are always for your glory, and what is right for us. Thank you Father. Amen

Love,

Carol

Fear Factor -- Fashioned for Faith -- Not Fear

First a big Woo Hoo and thank you to my Sweet Sister Paula, I was one of the lucky winners of her blogaversary drawings. I'm so excited, and will post pics on my blog when my beautiful journal arrives. Make sure you visit Paula Sweet Pea at her blog His Ways are Not Our Ways.

I don't know about you all but it's been a busy month for the Lueckfeld's so far. Though they are joyful things that distract me from keeping me up to date on my Yes to God study, I have to tell you I miss my peeps, and getting to read and keep up on my friends. That is one of the cool things about blogs though we can be behind and still get to get in on the conversation.

I'm playing catch up the last couple weeks, so I'm going to share my thoughts on Chapter 2 The Fear Factor and Chapter 3 Fashioned for Faith Not Fear. Our book is by Micca Campbell, An Untroubled Heart, and to get some more insight into what the others are reading head over to Lelia's blog Write From the Heart. Forgive me if I ramble there was so much in these 2 chapters my thoughts were full.

"Fear not" it's a simple statement it's all over the Bible. When God appeared to Moses, when the angels appeared to the prophets, and when the Angel Gabriel appeared to Mary, all of them said "Fear not". Jesus told us to "Fear not", and so do the apostles in their letters. In fact Mica tells us that " 'fear not' is stated in the Bible 366 times. That's one 'fear not' for every day of the year, with one extra left over for those really hard days." How amazing is that, God is in all the details. We can wake up each morning and tell ourselves straight from scripture "Fear Not". My verse for this year to pray on was the one Micca shared.

"For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline" 2Timothy 1:7." Micca reminds that "You and I were created to live by faith, and in God, we have all the power we need for a faith that is stronger than all our fears."

Let's face it there are a lot of things going on that bring fear and worry to our hearts. I hear it and see it all the time at work. I have people who are afraid of loosing their jobs, afraid of the schools their children will be in, they fear for their safety in a neighborhood that is very low crime, they fear war and many other things. The recent events in our world have created so much fear, anxiety and worry. "fear is a faith problem rather than a psychological problem." Who wouldn't, shoot just watching the nightly news is enough to give you a sleepless night. As children of God though we must have faith, "It takes faith to battle fear and put to death our anxieties as we learn to live with assurance in a God we can bank on. Without faith fear robs us of our peace, our abilities, our hopes, and our dreams."

I know that when fear and worries hit me, I can really let it take over, I can run with it and feed right into Satan's lies. Fear after all is his favorite tool, he knows right how to feed our fear. He wants us to think that God isn't interested in our petty thoughts, or the details of our life, or that our faith in God isn't enough, that we must take matters into our own hands, not give them to God. I love this acrostic and it's been rolling around in my head since I read it:

False

Evidence

Appearing

Real

How do you know what your Fearing is real. Fear can be good when it warns us of something harmful, painful, the unexpected, and disaster. We can also have a healthy Fear of God. A fear that drives us to want to please Him and not disappoint Him. The unhealthy fear we experience comes from Satan; "He's good at making our fears based on lies look real when they are not." "It's important for you and me to determine if our fears are real or simply Satan's hocus-pocus."

In the end of Chapter 2 Jennifer sent us to different scriptures. One set to show us who Satan was, and the other set was to show us who Jesus is and the drastic contrast between them.

Satan: Deceitful, cunning and prays on the weak and vulnerable. The Father of Lies, and murderer (he successfully killed the spiritual life of Adam & Eve and introduced fear into the world) He blinds man to God's truth so they will sink deeper into their own depravity. He looks for every opportunity to overwhelm us temptation, persecution and discouragement. He will do whatever he can to drag the believer from fellowship and service with Christ. He deceives the whole world but his time is limited. Devil is a Greek verb meaning to slander or to falsely accuse.

He is not my idea of someone I want to listen to or even have near me.

Now my Jesus: will have all governments rest on His shoulders. He's a Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Eternal Father, Prince of Peace. He is the Light of the world and the Light of Life, he is the Good Shepherd who lays down his life for us. Jesus is the Way the Truth and the Life, No one comes to Father but through me. Lord of Lord, Kings of Kings and will overcome all those who war against Him. Those who are with Him are the called and chosen and faithful.

Jesus how can we not love someone who is described in this way. He's the perfect friend, father, husband, protector, counselor and He laid down His life for us. I'm choosing to follow Jesus, and listen to Him.


In chapter 3 once again I have so much highlighted that it's hard for me to post all the things that went through my head. So I'm going to share things that stuck with me all week.

God's shelters us from the storms. We are never promised a trouble free life, in fact we are told that trials will come our way. We will loose people we love to circumstances and death, we will suffer from illness, we will suffer financial stresses and loss, but through it all God will provide us the strength to endure, and give us a rest and peace to weather the storm. God sees the big picture, He knows how our trials will shape us

"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, 'He is my refuge and my fortress, my God in whom I trust' Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart" Psalm 91:1-4

Casting our Cares. I don't know about you but I think that's one of those Christanese terms that gets thrown around. I know it's one my husband use to hear when we first started going to church together, that one and "just give it to God" what does that mean he'd say. I heard it all the time too, but how many of us really understand what that means. I know I didn't, and I certainly couldn't explain it to Brett. For along time I had the same thought Micca did, if I cast my cares upon Him, as Peter said in 1 Peter 5:7 "cast all our cares upon God for he cares for you" that all my troubles would some how just go away. That didn't happen, and that's not what Peter meant. Micca explains it better than I here; "The point is that when you and I cast our cares on God, we are recognizing that it's His responsibility to care for us-not ours." We still have to endure the trial, but God will grow us through it, and provide for our needs as we endure. "We only see what's happening to us at the moment. God may allow events to come into our lives--good things and bad things, things that make sense and things that don't. Every one of these incidents serves as part of His plan for our lives. What you and I may think is harmful, God is using for our good--to bring us to completion in godly conduct and character." I know very well that it's hard to see in the midst of the trial, but it's true. We must continue to have faith, and assurance that God is with us in it.


Genuine Faith, this one I really a wow moment. This past 2 1/2 years I have spent more time in the scriptures than I have since I first came to know the Lord. I read, and listen to teachings, and discuss faith with all my blog ladies, and friends here and in the non cyber land. I have noticed the change in my ability to recall His promises, changes in my heart, and a much more unshakable strength in my faith. I hadn't really put my finger on it until I read this "My faith in God didn't begin to grow until I started studying the Bible and discovering who He really is. In fact, I had misconceptions about God and about faith, and those ideas fed my fears." I have friends and family that are not followers of Christ, and when Brett and I went through our marriage trial, I had fears of his relapse back into painkillers and pornography, many of people would say just have faith that he won't. Huh how can I faith in my husband when I don't have trust in him. No the only thing that relieved my fears was knowing that it wasn't me that was in control it was Jesus, and if Brett did relapse Jesus would be with me to bring me through it.
I heard a lot about people putting their faith in their "Higher Power". But their "Higher Power" were things like the ocean, and some unseen unknown entity, or even the "program" itself, it was really faith in nothing. Well folks their is now higher power other than Jesus, and many of the people I met who didn't know Jesus lived in fear, and could find no peace. It was sad. We must get to know God so that we know who our faith is in, and to know Him you must "spend time with God in His Word". This is not the "god of my own understanding", after all that's a god I make up to suit my needs, this is the God of the Bible, the One True God.

Live like you believe. In the last few months, I will not say I have not feared with all the uncertainty that plagues our country. I will tell you that the fear I felt, I was quickly able to let go of as I found strength in God's word, and the promises of his protection and provision. Now more than ever I find living out my faith and letting people know where my strength comes from is essential. People need to see the Hope that comes from living with Faith in the One True God, the Hope that came with Jesus' death and resurrection. "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen" Hebrews 11:1 NKJV. Brett and I don't know if we will keep our jobs, if will keep our house, or if my liver will relapse or even fail again, those are scary things. We do know one thing though our God, and our Savior Jesus will never leave us, He will provide for us, and He will give us the strength and peace to rest in Him knowing that it's His responsibility, not ours to take care of us, it's our responsibility to trust in Him and be obedient to His Word.


Next up Chapter 4, when I'm not sure. We are going up to my father in laws for a few days. So it maybe another combined post. We'd covet your prayers for a safe journey, and to be able to live our Faith to it's fullest while there.


In Him my friends,

Carol

Celebrate!!!!! He is Risen!

1When the Sabbath was over, Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James, and Salome bought spices so that they might go to anoint Jesus' body. 2Very early on the first day of the week, just after sunrise, they were on their way to the tomb 3and they asked each other, "Who will roll the stone away from the entrance of the tomb?"
4But when they looked up, they saw that the stone, which was very large, had been rolled away. 5As they entered the tomb, they saw a young man dressed in a white robe sitting on the right side, and they were alarmed.
6"Don't be alarmed," he said. "You are looking for Jesus the Nazarene, who was crucified. He has risen! He is not here. See the place where they laid him. 7But go, tell his disciples and Peter, 'He is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him, just as he told you.' "
8Trembling and bewildered, the women went out and fled from the tomb. They said nothing to anyone, because they were afraid.

9When Jesus rose early on the first day of the week, he appeared first to Mary Magdalene, out of whom he had driven seven demons. 10She went and told those who had been with him and who were mourning and weeping. 11When they heard that Jesus was alive and that she had seen him, they did not believe it.
12Afterward Jesus appeared in a different form to two of them while they were walking in the country. 13These returned and reported it to the rest; but they did not believe them either.
14Later Jesus appeared to the Eleven as they were eating; he rebuked them for their lack of faith and their stubborn refusal to believe those who had seen him after he had risen.
15He said to them, "Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation. 16Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved, but whoever does not believe will be condemned. 17And these signs will accompany those who believe: In my name they will drive out demons; they will speak in new tongues; 18they will pick up snakes with their hands; and when they drink deadly poison, it will not hurt them at all; they will place their hands on sick people, and they will get well."
19After the Lord Jesus had spoken to them, he was taken up into heaven and he sat at the right hand of God. 20Then the disciples went out and preached everywhere, and the Lord worked with them and confirmed his word by the signs that accompanied it. Mark 16

Death did not overtake Jesus, Jesus over took death. May you find freedom in know the Savior Jesus. He's taken the punishment of our sins, so that we can have eternal life.

Happy Easter

Carol

TETELESTAI - It Is Finished!

Many of the Jews read this sign, for the place where Jesus was crucified was near the city, and the sign was written in Aramaic, Latin and Greek. The chief priests of the Jews protested to Pilate, "Do not write 'The King of the Jews,' but that this man claimed to be king of the Jews."
Pilate answered, "What I have written, I have written."
When the soldiers crucified Jesus, they took his clothes, dividing them into four shares, one for each of them, with the undergarment remaining. This garment was seamless, woven in one piece from top to bottom. "Let's not tear it," they said to one another. "Let's decide by lot who will get it." This happened that the scripture might be fulfilled which said, "They divided my garments among them and cast lots for my clothing."So this is what the soldiers did.

John 19:20-24

Later, knowing that all was now completed, and so that the Scripture would be fulfilled, Jesus said, "I am thirsty." A jar of wine vinegar was there, so they soaked a sponge in it, put the sponge on a stalk of the hyssop plant, and lifted it to Jesus' lips. When he had received the drink, Jesus said, "It is finished." With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit.
John 19 28-30

In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding. Ephesians 1:7-8 NIV

Why do we celebrate Good Friday why is it called Good Friday? It's the day we remember the sacrifice that God poured out, by sacrificing His one and only Son, our blessed savior Jesus. Jesus took upon himself our sins so that we may have a relationship with our Great and Loving God. Jesus cried out Tetelestai (Greek for It is finished). Jesus finished the work that God sent Him to do here to be the ultimate sacrifice.

"The Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world." John 1:29

Yes Jesus died a hideous and cruel earthly death, but the story doesn't end there.

Some may see this as a day of mourning, but it's really a day a hope and redemption, and a reminder of what we would suffer if we don't believe in Jesus as the Messiah. It's the day we as followers of Jesus look on and fall to our knees speechless by what God has done because of His great mercy, love, and kindness for the ones He created. For that reason we celebrate. Don't forget the story doesn't end here Sunday's Coming.

My Most Heavenly Father, there are no words that I can use to express the way you've changed my life. I did nothing to deserve your love or the forgiveness you gave, in fact I did everything that would cause you sorrow, I've been shameful and prideful, selfish and cruel, and I ran from you for so so long. But you never left me you pursued me and protected me even when I wasn't willing to see it. You waited for me ever so patiently, quietly hinting and revealing yourself to me until I at long last my eyes and heart were opened to you. I love you my Father, my Jesus, my Savior, my Redeemer. Amen.

Carol

Painting by Thomas Blackshear 11

ABC's of the Word - H

Seems I'm a bit behind on all my posts. God's word is always timely though.

For more ABC's of the Word make sure to stop by and visit our gracious host Pam at Grey Like Snuffie. She has inspired many of us to search through God's word in a new way. Make sure to stop and visit some of the other ladies who share their letter each week too.


This weeks Letter is H.

One for all of us ladies.

Proverbs 31:27-31 (NASB)
27She looks well to the ways of her household,

And does not eat the bread of idleness.

28Her children rise up and bless her;

Her husband also, and he praises her, saying:

29"Many daughters have done nobly,

But you excel them all."

30Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain,

But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.

31Give her the product of her hands,

And let her works praise her in the gates.

Reading through this verse reminds me that being a wife who respects and loves her husband, and who loves her child, is beautiful in the eyes of the Lord. When we love our family by caring for them our of our reverence and love for our Lord, we are pleasing in His sight.

In Him,

Carol

ABC's of the Word - G

God Gives

And the testimony is this, that God has given us eternal life, and this life is in His Son. He who has the Son has the life; he who does not have the Son of God does not have the life.

1John 5:13

For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.

John 3:16

It's funny I was actually going to look for a verse on guidance, because I am seeking guidance in an area regarding how my daughter will spend the summer. Then I was caught by the first verse and read it over a few times and the God has given, really caught me. It made me think of how many times in the scriptures that we are told that God gives. Then I really thought about John 3:16, how many times have we heard that verse most of us can recite it from memory. Most children it's one of the first memory verses they learn. But there it is again He gave.

I'm not sure about the people you come in contact with, but I am daily surrounded by people who do not know Jesus. I meet people regularly who are trying to earn their way to heaven, trying to be a good person, yet never acknowledging that God did not say in either verse I will let you have eternal life if you do this, this, and this.

God gave the world His son, we did not barter for Jesus. In fact there is nothing we could give or do that would impress God. We are covered in the filthy rags of our sin, until we except God's most loving and sacrificial gift of His Son Jesus. Then and only then will we know real life.

In Him,

Carol

To find out more about the ABC's of the Word visit Pam at Grey Like Snuffie and find out what others are finding as the search God's word for the letter of the week.

This weeks letter is F

"just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world,

that we would be holy and blameless before Him In love"

Ephesians 1:4

I'm not sure about you, but this verse blew me away the first time I really got what it said. That God thought of me and you before He even created the world. That He knew when, what time, and place He would place us. He knew our part in His plan before the world was created and how our little vapor of a life would be important to our plan. He also knew we would need Salvation, and He made a plan for that so we could be with Him again. WOW.

PRAISE GOD!

For more ABC's of the Word head over to Pam's at Grey Like Snuffie.

Lift Up: Praise The Lord, O My Soul Ch. 11

Well it's hard to imagine but we've come to the end of this amazing book. Jennifer Rothschild has lead us through our thought closet, we've learned to take our self defeating, negative, and condemning self talk and replace it with God's word. The words God has carefully picked out for us and written to us. He's also taught us in His word to take every thought captive, and to not let it in. If you haven't taken the time to read this book, take the time. It is well worth the time. I think I have officially read it 3 times, because I found myself rereading each chapter 3 times so I could just really meditate and pray about the material presented.

I also wanted to let all the ladies who participated I was fed even more with the thoughts and personal experiences you shared on your posts. Some of you I met last study, and some I just met with this book. I cherish the relationships we've built, all of your comments, encouragement, and prayers I feel God's blessed me with meeting so many Christian sisters through this world we call blogging.

This weekend, while at my women's retreat (I'll blog later on that) I had one of those moments that felt so intiment with God such an amazing time of Praise. We had quiet time after the morning session. The Suggested Devotional was Psalm 103 of David. I had just skimmed the first part of chapter 11, and I knew that when I saw the first two verses of the Psalm 103 started out Praise the Lord, O My Soul, that God had something for me. I read through the Psalm, and the material provided with it, and then on my heart came the word of the song East to West by Casting Crowns. I pulled out my ipod and headed outside for sometime completely alone with my Lord. It was cold on the beach about 50 degrees outside (be nice I'm a Californian). I stood on the outer walkway of the hotel over looking the beach, and listened to the song in amazement of the beauty and vastness of God's love for me. The wind was blowing, and I remember my body shivering, but I couldn't bring myself to go inside, I wanted to be outside and looking at God's creation, feeling the cold and the wind like it was God's breath all around me. I remember saying how unworthy I was, and then feeling such fullness of His love that it brought me to tears. I walked along the outer walkway of the hotel, listening to more of the songs that always draw me into a deeper worship with God. It was amazing.

I came home from Monetrey this weekend and read Jennifer's quote "Open the door of your thought closet and look inside. What consumes your thoughts? When you have an idle moment, where do your thoughts wander? When you talk to yourself, what are you usually saying?" Hmm I never thought about that way.

So what does consume my thoughts. My family, particularly my daughter lately as she is becoming more teen than girl. My husband battles with addictions, and remembering to continue to lift him in prayer. More praying for my daughter. Work and the economy. My quiet time, hobby, illness, my weight, my appearance much more emphasis on the last that I liked seeing. My friends, and how badly I am about communicating with them, oh yes and my blog what will I write today. How far behind I am in my to do list. Oh yes God He was in there too, but in a smaller place than I had realized. Then I hear the spirit say "yes but am I the first thought of your day, and the predominate thought of your day, and the last thought of your day.", Sheepishly I admit, "not usually Lord" Some days, but sadly not everyday. Over the last few months I have spent more time in my relationship with the Lord, but I'm not satisfied with it. I want more of God and less of me. I love to read and I love to read my studies, I believe these last two studies have really opened my eyes to how much more space I need to give to God.

He must increase, but I must decrease. John 3:30

I know fully what it's like to live my life with out God at the center of my focus, and boy does my life go out of whack when I do that. I love how Jennifer talks about when we really enjoy something or someone is important to us we talk about that thing, or that person constantly. Everyone who knows me knows that I think my little girl is amazing, and that I have a wonderfully loving and giving husband. They know that I love to scrapbook and alter things and create with my hands, and many figure out that purple is my favorite color. But do they know how much I love God? Is it evident that I love God and I am so grateful for Jesus and the redemption that He's sacrificed Himself for? I can say on many occasions yes they know I'm a Christian, but I don't really know if they have any idea of the depth of my love for Him. So how do we show that outwardly. PRAISE HIM!!!!

In God we make our boast all day long, and we will praise your name forever Psalm 44:8

Praising God is really about enjoying God. Praise is all forms, not just singing and worship songs, but reading His word and desiring to learn about Him, sharing Him with a friend, praying for yourself, and for others, going to church, talking about Him with your children, walking and looking at His creation, and the list can go on and on. "Conversely, when we shut the doors of our thought closets to the God who loves us, we are most cruel to our own souls. Lifting up self barricades us from true happiness. Ironically, our own selfishness deprives us from what we long for most."

How priceless is your unfailing love!

Both high and low among men

find refuge in the shadow of your wings.

They feast on the abundance of your house;

you give them drink from your river of delights.

For with you is the fountain of life;

in your light we see light

Psalm 36:7-9

So our soul craves to praise our Lord, it's what keeps us on His path and connects us to God and makes it possible to hear His voice. When we are selfish and self focused we can't praise anyone but ourselves. I'm not sure about you, but that hasn't worked out so well for me.

So I'll end this book study with the quote Jennifer shared from C.S. Lewis, "As long as you are proud, you cannot know God. A proud man is always looking down on things and people; and, of course, as long as you are looking down, you cannot see something that is above you."

Keep looking up to the Heaven my friends,

Carol

Oh and of course Lelia has brought to us another wonderful book study, An Untroubled Heart, Finding a faith that is stronger than all my fears. Author Micca Campbell. So join us in the next study for more details head over to Lelia's blog Write From the Heart

Look Back, Chill Out, and March On Ch. 8, 9.&10

Wow where has the time gone. Somewhere between a 9 year old with a fever for 4 days, gma's hospital stay (she's home and doing well thank you for all the prayers) personal doctor appointments, and a date night that turned into almost a weekend (not complaining about that), I've never gotten to post my thoughts on the last 3 Chapters of Self Talk, Soul Talk by Jennifer Rothschild. Now Yes to God Tuesday is Yes to God Thursday 3 weeks late. Don't forget to head over to Lelia's blog Write From the Heart and see what others have shared from these 3 chapters. Also we are getting ready for our next book study. So if you haven't done so yet join us, it really is fun, and no pressure Lelia's got all the info on her blog. As an added bonus you'll meet some of the most wonderful Godly and encouraging women.

So I thought I'd just share a bit from each, and hopefully I'll get to post in full on Chapter 11 next week. I make no promises though because I'm off to a women's retreat as you may know, and I want to focus my attention on the topic there. So I guess you'll just have to be surprised.

So now on to the book, as has been the norm for this book, I have underlined and nodded in agreement over and over and these next 3 chapters were no different. In Chapter 8 Look Back: Forget Not His Benefits, O My Soul, the topic was milestones. You know those times and decisions in your life where you look back and know that was something that affected the next portion of your life, and that effected who and where you are today. Looking back at our memories and milestones can be pleasant and painful, we tend to only want to look back at the good. However we are reminded in this chapter that looking back at the painful is important too, as long as it is profitable. So what's that mean. Jennifer explains it this way, "Profitable memories are those that add to your soul wellness rather than subtract from it", "Profitable memories contribute to your personal depth and understanding. They challenge you to think broadly rather than narrow your perspective."

So sometimes are memories are pleasant, like the first time I held my daughter, it was life changing, and is still one of my most precious memories. However at that same time the memories attached to that are the feelings of rejection from divorce, and knowing that Brinn and I would be a family of two, and not a family of three, at least at that time. It's a painful memory of a difficult time in my life, but one with great profitability. Why because I can look back and see how God worked through that time to bring me to Him, I can remember how He provided for me, how He changed the relationship between me and my sister, from just realitives to a closeness we'd never shared together. The other thing about looking back on those painful memories is to relabel them. When you look at the memory that caused you pain, and see the hands of God covering it and leading out of the dark time you can remove the negative connotation from it. God will remove the sting from that memory, and when you look back you'll see how God drew you close, and used it to strengthen and make you who you are today.

My favorite quote from Jennifer in Chapter 8 is "Remembering can turn even the most difficult milestones into stepping-stones on a path of gratitude, contentment, and peace." She also warns if you have truly horrific memories, that bring utter agony such as horrible situations of abuse or cruelty, that those kind of memories can require you to seek professional, and spiritual intervention. If that is your situation, please do find someone to guide you through the healing process. Advice well spoken.

Remember those earlier days after you had received the light, when you stood your ground in a great contest in the face of suffering. Hebrews 10:32

I remember the days of long ago; I meditate on all your works and consider what your hands have done. Psalm 143:5

So now that we've Looked Back and seen where God's taken us it's time to Chill Out. Chapter 9 Chill Out: Be At Rest, O My Soul. Oh yeah, this is good. As one who loves to burn the candle at both ends I needed to read this chapter. Now it's no secret that I have an illness that can get out of control because I'm not suppose to get overly stressed, over committed, or over tired, but the reality is I do. For me God has provided a trigger in my body to force me into physical rest. My body just plain shuts off sometimes for 2 to 3 days. So I get physical rest.

Only recently have I realized the need for my spiritual rest. Where I take time to read God's word, pray for others and myself, and fill myself with His peace daily. It's essential to me, and on the days that I don't get my time with God, I can feel the difference in my spirit, and it's evident in my attitude as well.

What Jennifer said here really spoke to my heart, "When we are physically and emotionally spent and worn, we become susceptible to the enemy's attack. We become easy targets, sitting ducks. Our enemy attacks us with despair, depression, illness, impatience, and myriad other maladies...all results of a fatigued soul and body. Speaking rest to our souls is critical."

The other thing I really enjoyed is the advice she shared from Pastor Rick Warren about a formula for rest:

Divert Daily: a power nap, a walk at lunch, people watch. Just do something daily to create a temporary diversion each day.

Withdraw Weekly: It can be all day or just a few hours, just make sure you step back and out of the weekly chaos that is your world once a week.

Abandon Annually: Yep, you know it VACATION! Something that many of us don't do. It doesn't have to be expensive, you just have to take time to leave your regular life behind for a few days. For me that's this weekend. From Friday morning to Sunday afternoon, it's retreat time. I spend time with my sister, stay in a hotel, eat food I only have to order off a menu, go shopping, walk on the beach and fellowship with other women who love the Lord and just have good old girl time. I always come back spiritually renewed.

Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. Matthew 11:29 NASB

The Lord replied, "My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest" Exodus 33:14

We've Looked Back and seen what God has brought us through, and we've taken some much needed Chill time with God, it's time to go to Chapter 10 and Press On: March On, O My Soul. This Chapter has given me much to ponder on. You see I'm one of those people who can take the one negative thing I did and make it over shadow all the good things I've done. Jennifer reminds us not to focus on our failures but to focus on our success's. I so need to do this. When I focus on all the negative things and how much I haven't done or didn't do, exactly what Jennifer says happens occurs I feel despair and I feel overwhelmed. I'm not talking with soul talk to myself, I'm just talking myself out of things I can do or am more than capable of doing.

We are reminded that we are not defined by our struggles or are failures. These things are not who we are "What you do and how you feel may loom large on your radar. But what really counts is who you are. Determine your true identity and the act upon it. Don't let the struggle define you; use your true identity to properly define your struggle." When you feel overwhelmed with the task don't give up and don't quit. Sometimes it takes many tries to get something right. We must continue to tell ourselves we can't do something, we will continue to believe it and eventually give up on it.

This is a totally new concept for me. For years I've always looked to far ahead into the process of something, felt overwhelmed by it, and then told myself I can't do it. So the ideas stop there, and have never moved on. Paralyzed by the fear of failing, and overwhelmed by looking to far ahead, and never even thinking about asking God to help me with it. Now I'm pondering this. I first really have to figure out who I am, I need to spend time in prayer over this. I really have no idea where or how God wants to use me in this world. I am going to spend my quiet time this weekend in prayer over this. I'd appreciate your prayers in this as well. I want to March On I just don't know where. I'm going to start by speaking soul talk into my soul and not looking at my flaws and unsuccessful attempts as failures but as growing points. I'm also going to spend sometime in the Soul-Talk Starters she shares with us in the Appendix 1, to remember who I am in God. The other thing I feel the need to do is begin journaling. I've done it here and there but not regularly. So I will keep you updated as I learn to take one step at a time and March On.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witness, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Hebrews 12:1

But we're not quitters who lose out. Oh no! We'll stay with it and survive, trusting all the way. Hebrews 10:39 MSG

In Him and Through Him,

Carol

ABC's of the Word -- E

Encourage One Another

1 Thessalonians 5:9-11 (The Message)
9-11God didn't set us up for an angry rejection but for salvation by our Master, Jesus Christ. He died for us, a death that triggered life. Whether we're awake with the living or asleep with the dead, we're alive with him! So speak encouraging words to one another. Build up hope so you'll all be together in this, no one left out, no one left behind. I know you're already doing this; just keep on doing it.

One of the things I've discovered in the last few months of venturing into this world of blogging, is encouragement I have found from all of my new friends, and some old friends who follow that I never expected. I can't tell you how the words that are shared with me have strengthened me and given me such joy. It's just such an awesome thing women from all over the world speaking encouraging words to one another, in comments and in emails shared.

I'm off this weekend to a Women's Retreat with my sister and the ladies of her church, my first church home. This is one of my favorite times of the year, not just because I get to have my time with my sister, but I get to reconnect with many of the other women who encouraged me when I was a baby believer. I'm looking forward to what God has to speak into my heart this weekend. Of course I'll post on it too.

Love,

Carol
For more ABC's of the Word headed over to Pam's at Grey Like Snuffie, and you can read from others the words that God is showing them.

ABC's of the Word - D

Draw Near

James 4:7-8 NASB

"7Submit therefore to God Resist the devil and he will flee from you.
8Draw near to God and He will draw near to you

Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded."

Draw near to God, can't you just picture it. Falling into our Lord Jesus' arms and being held so tight, having Him draw you so close to Him, that you can just breathe Him in and feel absolute peace and a love like no other.

For more go to our host Pam at Grey Like Snuffie, you can link to others who are sharing the ABC's of the Word

ABC's of the Word - B

It's Thursday and time for the ABC's of the Word. Hosted by Pam at Grey Like Snuffie, click on the flower to read other's are sharing. The letter this week is B, and my word is Beloved.

Colossians 3:12-13

12So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience;
13bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you.

In the study notes of my Bible, John MacArthur's tells us that being God's beloved "means believers are the objects of God's incomprehensible special love."

I needed to be reminded of this this morning. This entire verse is so powerful. It is no small thing being called God's beloved. This is not the love we feel for even those closes to us, this is the love of God. Think about it God's love for us is incomprehensible. The American Heritage Dictionary definition says this "Difficult or impossible to understand or comprehend; Impossible to know or fathom: incomprehensible mysteries. Having no limits; boundless."

Paul also tells us in Ephesians 1:6 to the praise of the glory of His grace which He freely bestowed on us in the Beloved." In this passage my study notes say this. "Because believers are accepted in Him, then they like Him are beloved of God." God loves us like He loves Jesus, His one and only son.

I'm in awe of the fact that I am God's beloved. I am struggling with an issue regarding work today. It has brought up much anxiety for me, today I reminded with this scripture how small this issue is, as I am reminded I am the Almighty God's beloved, a love that is limitless, unshakable, boundless. That what ever anxiety I have today regarding work, whatever the outcome is my God is so much bigger than that. That God will be with me today and always, and that I am his representative, and I am His beloved.

So whatever you are facing today remember that you are God's Beloved, a love that is bigger than anything we may encounter.

Love,
Carol

Calm Down: I Have Stilled and Quieted My Soul - Ch. 7

Hi my friends, oh how I need this chapter tonight. I'm here for my weekly day late post of Yes to God, hosted by Lelia over at Write From the Heart. Stop over to see what others are sharing on this chapter. Now we are in Chapter 7, how to still and quiet our souls when anger comes into our thoughts.

The lack of control over what happens in our life, or how others act in our lives can be so frustrating. It reminds us just how little control we really have.

I love what Jennifer wrote here: "Control over the events of our lives is a pleasant day dream at best and a cruel fantasy at worst. Even so, we all seem ready to embrace the mirage." Isn't that the truth. I actually never gave much thought to my need to control things, before I surrendered control of my live to the Lord. I was not raised in a home where confrontation, or fighting was done. We were stuffers of our feelings, and anger was one of them. My mother always told me I was a born mediator, I much better at mediating other's problems and disagreements than I am at handling going head on with someone. That's how I controlled things, I'd mediate the arguments that came to me, like bargaining with someone that was mad. It's now what I do for a living as a property manager I mediate. My old manager use to tell me I was the only person she knew who could take someone who was seething mad because of something I told them they couldn't do, and by the end of the conversation they would leave smiling, happy about what they couldn't do and they thought it was their idea. Again control, well actually manipulation.

God however has shown me that I am a controller, and He stretches me alot by allowing situations that force me to only control the only aspects He has left under our control. My attitude, how I respond to circumstances, my choice to seek God, my choice to be still before Him, and my choice to acknowledge that God is in control and I'm not.

Jennifer reminds us of Psalm 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God. "It simply means we quiet ourselves by acknowledging that He is God and we are not. To do that, we must first accept that He has ultimate control and we don not. This is where ultimate peace resides."

So we need to be aware of the things that will block us from be able to be still. Those things that distract us and make us think we have control:

A Negative Mind-Set: or as Brinn and I's Tae Kwon Do teacher use to say Stickin Thinkin. We have to choose what our perspective of things will be. When something comes at me I tend to go to all the bad things that can happen first, or think of arguments to fight with before I even have had the conversation. Throwing gasoline on the fire, instead of God's soothing water as Jennifer says.

After Brinn was born, I had to make a choice about my attitude towards my ex husband. I could choose to let my anger control me and make it difficult regarding visitation, the divorce, and his soon to be new wife, or I could relinquish control to God, and let Him be my lamp. Being bitter and angry in the end would not have accomplished anything, and could have very well been disastrous to Brinn. I chose God's way I had to, but there were many times I tried to take control back, and then confess and give it back to God. Sometimes multiple times in a day.

Anger over Adversity: I love this quote from Jennifer "No one has given us an ironclad promise that life will be fair. It never has been, and it never will be. It is what it is, and it will be what it will be. Accepting that reality isn't the same as approving of your difficult circumstances. It's just being real. Your depression or rage won't make the bad things go away. Bad things really do happen to good people. Innocent people can be treated poorly. Life sometimes takes a wrong turn. Evil won't go away just because it makes you mad."

So true, don't you think. Life doesn't become a bed of roses, because you surrender it to Christ. In fact some of my greatest trials have been since I surrendered. Divorce, illness, financial loss, living through consequences you didn't completely create, and strife with people who don't believe in God's power. It's how you handle the trials and how you react to them that makes Christ evident in your life to you and others.

When Brett admitted all of his addictions, it was the most frightening feel of being out of control. There was absolutely nothing I could do. I could not make him stop taking pills, or stop looking at adult Internet sights. I could not force him into recovery, or to continue to stay sober, and I could not force him to be honest. I had no control over the situations, yet I had to deal with great consequences of his actions. Was that fair, no. So I had a choice, I could leave the marriage, society would have supported it, in fact many thought I should, or I could get on my knees and pray for God to give me strength, understanding, patience, help to forgive, and to fill my heart with love for my husband and not bitterness. Only God could change Brett, and He has. Only God could give me the strength to hang on to a marriage that trust had been dissolved and restore it to so much more than it ever was.

Stubborn Defiance: Hanging on to our anger steals your peace. You defiantly refuse to let go and the anger slowly turns to bitterness. One of things I've heard over and over is bitterness is the poison you drink yourself. It will ruin your life, relationships, and how you view yourself. It will lead you down paths you don't want to go. Stubborn Defiance is to say that God can't make a difference, that you can handle this, or I just don't want to change. It's right where the enemy wants you. "Absence of peace is not an 'I can't' situation. It's an 'I won't' problem. --- Letting go of anger may seem impossible, but my friend, it's not impossible at all. Not with an all- powerful God in your corner! Guard yourself from the belief that you can't and consider that the real problem might be that you just won't!"

This one is something I've had to work very hard on. Eph:4:32 Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. I soothe my soul with this reminding me that God has forgiven such ugliness in my life, and the sins I commit are as evil and wicked in the eyes of the Lord, as ones that I have experienced at the hands of others. So I cannot live in Stubborn Defiance and have my peace stolen from me, I have to pray and ask God to change my heart, pray for the one who hurt me, and then God restores my peace.

So tonight I started this post with how much I needed this chapter tonight. Well it's not a major deal, but this chapter really spoke to me today. My boss called me today and asked if we could have a meeting over lunch tomorrow, over some maintenance tension. What did I do I immediately starting throwing gasoline words in my thought closet. Fear, resentment, self righteousness all crept in and starting building a fire. I'm already assuming what will be said tomorrow, (you know what that makes me) and had myself all worked up by the time I got home I was really angry, not at my boss but at another coworker. So first I needed some corrective words, that may sting but are true. Like Carol you are not always right, and your defensive hackles are up over something that hasn't even been said, and may not be said. Then I need to find my Lords soothing water and put out the fire, so I can find peace. No matter what God is in control of all situations.

So I close tonight with the verse God gave me tonight that is soothing my soul, and in God's way of getting my attention He gave it to me through Brinn's memory verse this week for school.

God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble. Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you. 1Peter 5:4

Farewell and Peace,

Carol

Oh yes if you would please pray for me and my work situation, that I would honor God in my meeting with my words, as I serve for Him as a witness to the people around me.

ABC's of the Word Thursday's

So I've decided to jump in and take on the ABC's of the Word hosted by Pam at Grey Like Snuffie. I first started following along with my friend Liz at Liz's letters, and then met Pam through the Yes to God Study. I thought it was a good way to do some deeper soul searching on the verses God puts out, and a fun challenge. Since Pam is starting again with the letter A, I thought I'd join in.

So here is my "A" verse.

Dear friends, I urge you as aliens and strangers in the world to abstain from sinful desires, which war against your soul. Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us. 1Peter 2:11-12.

Have you ever felt that you didn't belong, or like you don't fit in? I know I feel that a lot. It's funny God has been showing me all of these different verses about how I don't belong in this world, and to not follow the ways of the world. In fact it's been almost daily for the last couple weeks. Not just through verses, but sermons at church, on the radio, and even through worship songs. I believe God is revealing these things to me, to comfort me, to know I'm not alone, to strengthen me to keep living this way, and yes that I don't belong to this world I belong to Him.

When I first answered God's call to follow Him, I noticed things changing in my world. The things I thought were okay, suddenly made me feel uncomfortable, I was seeing with new eyes. Now almost 10 years later, I really feel like an alien. Now with my husband and his new life in Christ, we both feel that way. We have many people in our lives that are not Christians, who think we are just weird because of the things we abstain from. Even some of our friends who are Christians find it hard to understand why we won't go see certain movies, or why we don't watch certain TV shows. It's something that God has placed heavily on our hearts.

In the American Heritage Dictionary the word Alien is defined as: Belonging to, characteristic of or constituting another and very different place, society, or person: stranger. Okay that makes sense I want to be seen that I live my life differently.

Then I looked up Abstain: To refrain from something by one's own choice. This told me that I have a choice to follow what pleases God or what pleases the world. I choose what pleases God.

It's not always easy, many times in a work situation, my husband and I have to hold our tongues as to things said. We sometimes can't even partake in a regular conversation, because we don't have a clue to what they are talking about, and this can be hard and sometimes tempting to crossover to the worlds ways. Through this last year with the election and the battle of Proposition 8 we heard many views from both non believers and believers. People asked us alot our opinions who and how we were voting and why we were voting that way. We prayed a lot for guidance and sought the scriptures, and cast our ballots. We prayed for guidance on how to share with people in love why we voted the way we did. I think this year especially have I felt what Peter said "Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us. And we feel it more and more. That's okay though we look to the Lord for our guidance, we are more concerned about pleasing the Lord than people.

We know that the Holy Spirit has guided us towards the things we need to abstain from and those things that can harm us or make us fall. We support each other in that, we teach our daughter those things. Most importantly we feel at peace with it.

We laugh because we have a really big Not of the World decal on the back window of our car. Some people who have seen it have even asked us well what world are you from, are you aliens. So I guess the correct answer is yes.

My pastor this past Sunday asked what was defining our view of Jesus. Were we looking at Him as a way to get the things we want, have we let the culture we live in define who He is and how we believe. Or are we looking to the scriptures, and what Jesus himself told us who He is. Something I've been pondering over all week.

So while I might not fit in at the company party, or people might think I'm to conservative in my thinking, or intolerant, I hope they also see that I live with Hope, and Joy. I know someday I will fit in, I'll be at home when I'm sitting at my saviors feet.

Love,

Carol

Look Up: Hope in God, My Soul Chapter 6

Can you believe we've hit Chapter 6, this study is just flying by. I'm lovin it. If you haven't gotten this book, make sure you do. It's Yes to God Tuesdays and I'm a day behind, to here what others have to say pop on over to our hostess Lelia's blog, you can link to the other ladies in our little family.

HOPE! That is what this chapter is all about. Jennifer shares with us the way an unknown Psalmist talks to his soul. "Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me?" Psalm 42:5 The Psalmist is talking to his soul trying to figure out what is making him feel so sorrowful. As Jennifer called it "honest soul exploration" first being honest with yourself that feel despair, and then asking your soul why. What is making you feel troubled, and searching for the source.

I have to say that this little section alone is so important. How many times have we beat up on ourselves for feeling sad, negative, fearful, or anxious. How many of us have heard that Christians aren't suppose to feel those things, that if we do we don't have enough faith. Well guess what we do and it's okay it's normal. This is when it's time though to sit down and have a good old fashion talk with your soul, and find out where the despair comes from. This is where God teaches us to look to Him to fill our souls and find our Hope. This is where God shows us that the things of the world cannot give us hope. This is when we learn to lean and trust in God. When we are in despair we must find out where it comes from so we can begin healing from it.

Jennifer says: "Despair won't go away just because we ignore it, run from it, drown it out, or deny it. A soul in despair must be honest enough to admit the truth. That's where it all begins."

When we first started this study, I shared back in Chapter 2 how I was feeling very down and frustrated, so much so that my husband was worried that I might be slipping into a depression. That day I sat down, started praying, and asking God to show me what was causing this sadness. I knew I didn't feel right in my spirit, and I didn't want to slip deeper.

I love how Jennifer has us visualize a table and the stability of it's four legs as the balance in our life. "When one of the essential areas of our lives is loose, damaged, neglected, or removed, we will be shaky and imbalanced. We will easily tip and fall into despair." Just like a table if one of the legs are broken or even loose it becomes unsteady or worse falls. Like a table we have four essential supports, ironically as I read through these I realized that I had been working on strengthening these supports, since that day I posted on Chapter 2.

Emotional Leg: "Emotions are valid and important gifts from God. But because they can be very powerful and very present, we can easily believe they represent facts. -- Our problems usually have less to do with our circumstances than with the way we choose to feel about them. --Remember, feelings aren't the same things as facts." I think we can all relate to making decisions based on our emotions. I've made many decisions that were based on my emotions, and they usually ending up a mess. These have involved financial decisions, relationship decisions, work related decisions just to name a few. This leg needs constant monitoring, I always have to stop and check my emotions, and pray for wisdom.

Physical Leg: "Never discount the impact of physical wellness on our souls' wellness. Your body needs adequate rest, healthy food, and moderate exercise." I can definitely relate to this one. My physical leg has been out of whack for the last year. Having my illness I need to be aware of my bodies needs. When I neglected them or ignored them, as I did in 2007, it brought me into a relapse in my health, which then affected every other part of my life and my families life. Only recently have I realized how much I needed to make some changes again. Things I had done but let go of. Resting when my body felt tired, not over committing to things, eating healthy, and exercising had lost as one of my priorities. Then I would become hard on myself when I had saw where it had taken me. I cannot cure my illness only God can, but he has given me the tools and the knowledge to take better care of myself. So this leg right now is under repair.

Mental Leg: "Brains like to be challenged. Your mind needs to have something to do, or it will create something to do -- something that might not be so constructive." When I think of all the time I spent watching TV. Not just something new, or interesting, but reruns of shows I'd seen 2 or 3 times talk about idle brain. Now I don't mean to offend, but I have pretty much put the majority of TV out of my life. I really haven't found anything worth watching that should suck up my precious free time to watch. I've been reading more, love reading my Message Daily Bible, books, and blogs. I have also found that blogging has given me a way to work my mind and write my thoughts and expand on them. Of course I love to create too, that really gets my brain working. So stimulate that brain, with things of value, and that bring you enjoyment. My hubby always teases me says how do you know all this stuff, I just say I don't know I read it somewhere.

Spiritual Leg: "A deep longing resides in each of us that only God can meet. Neglecting this longing doesn't make it go away. It will only continue to grow, and left untended, it leads to a sort of melancholy of the soul. -- When our spiritual needs aren't met, we experience the effects physically, emotionally, and mentally. -- Your spiritual nature is the part of you that is eternal. It's the part of you that will live forever and longs to commune with the eternal God. -- As we transfer trust from ourselves to Him, we find deep satisfaction, and our longing is fulfilled." Oh how true this is. I feel it every time I've drifted away from spending time with God, when I've slipped into the "Sunday Christian Mode". It's affected my life in huge ways. That's when I make decisions based on feelings, or slip into mind numbing entertainment, and lack of physical motivation to take care of myself. My time with God is so precious to me. I have such a hunger to read the word, and learn more about God, and what His plan is for me. I talk to God all the time like he's sitting right next to me, like I would talk to a friend sitting with me. It's apparent to me that strengthening that Spiritual Leg will keep the others from needing so much repair.

LOOK UP: HOPE IN GOD!

HOPE! It such a small word with such a huge impact. Jeremiah 29:11 has been my life verse since I first gave my life to the Lord it was the first verse I ever memorized, " For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you HOPE and a future" This verse carried me through the uncertainty of being a single mom, when God brought me back to work, when I got sick, when my husband admitted his addictions, and through many other trials. God is our HOPE and He promises that to us. It may not be the future we expected, but it's what He knows is best for us, and so I HOPE in his plan for me. This verse is in big beautiful letters written on the walls of my thought closet, when I feel despair and am crying out to God I repeat this over and over like a chant, and He brings me peace.

I love the story she shared about the women's husband Bruce that is a quadriplegic. When people asked him if he couldn't wait to get to heaven so he could walk his reply was so powerful " 'I'm not so interested in getting to heaven so I can walk or run or jump,' he replies. ' I long for heaven because there I can kneel.'" Wow, have you ever met someone like that. I have, she's my daughters best friends mother, she inspires me with her hope and her faith. She has MS and is confined to a wheel chair, mostly bed now. She's in and out of the hospital for seizures, and yet when ever I go over to her house she is always smiling, she is always concerned for others, and she never complains. Now of course I don't live with her so I'm sure she has her moments, but I really don't believe that she could endure without her Hope in Christ, and her husbands hope in Christ. When I feel whinny about my illness I think of her. I call her just to chat, because she reminds me to Look Up.

Jennifer reminds us, "When we look up, we broaden our view and are able to see that our losses remind us of all that we have received. Hope is lost when we focus only on our own problems. But choosing hope widens our perspective."

Jennifer asked the question what do we put our hope in? In these times in our country people are putting their hope in all kinds of places, false religions, people, government, self help books, it's heart breaking. So many people are living in uncertainty. My friend just told me today that her husband was let go from work. Here in California, our budget still hasn't passed, and they are making cuts all over the different agencies. Of course there is all the other things going on in our country, and the world around us. I hear so much fear in peoples voices, and the majority of people seem to be putting their hope in our new President. I'm sure he's a nice guy, but let's be realistic he's just a man, so he is not where my hope lies. The presidents power is limited. If we put our hope in earthly things our hope will perish. "Such is the destiny of all who forget God; so perishes the hope of the godless." Job 8:13. So where do I put my hope. MY HOPE IS IN THE LORD. My Lord has no limits. "But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles: they will run and not grow weary, the will walk and not be faint." Isiah 40:31. I have to put my HOPE in the Lord, if I don't I will end up trembling under some broken table somewhere, not sleeping, worried about things that haven't happened yet, and things I can't control. I don't want to live that way, I don't have to either.

This quote from Jennifer's book is where I want to be, "The most hopeful people I know are those who place their trust n God. Liberated from the need to always be in control, they are able to rest in Him rather than struggle to avoid difficulties in this life. They don't become hopeless because their hope is in God, not in themselves or the alleviation of their circumstances." My hope in God has carried through many difficult trials in this last 9 1/2 years, and it fills me now even when so many around me have no hope. My prayer is that all my family and friends who don't know the Hope I have found in God, will come to find it. I would love to share it with you. It's a gift God gave us that He wants us to pass on.

Love,

Carol