Starting Over

So if any of my old blog friends are still out there and wondering what happened since 2010, you now know I didn't fall off of the face of the planet.  It's a very long story, and to keep it brief as possible.

In brief 2009 and 2010 were really difficult.  I hit a down hill slide in my health, I was in and out of the hospital and the ER from about Sept of 2009 through most of 2010. My husband's grandma went to be with the Lord in June (on my daughter's birthday) of 2010, he loved her dearly.  In addition my husband lost his job, like many to lay offs in October of 2010, I changed positions in my company to something that would be easier on my health.  I had a dear Aunt pass away from Cancer, then later her son was in a motorcycle accident and lost his leg.  (he is doing wonderfully now).

In 2011, my husband finally got some work although nothing near the income we had before, but it is a job none the less.  In March my mother went to be with the Lord.  It was sudden and unexpected but at 83 she had lived a life of many adventures.  I miss her everyday. 

We lost our home in July of 2011 and moved to were I work, forcing a change in schools for the second year in a row for our daughter who was going from 6 to 7th grade, and age that is already full of insecurity and new experiences.  Once again she had to navigate a new school and make new friends.

There were many other challenges along the way.  I don't share all this to sing you my pity party song.  (although there were plenty of days believe me when I looked to the Heavens and said really Lord, really do I have to do this too.)  I share it to tell you that even through the trials God is faithful.

I no longer have to drive to work, I walk 35 steps from my apartment to my office.  I'm close when my daughter is home, and she even comes and hangs out with me in the office sometimes.  Where we live now is so much easier to get to everything, before everything was a 15 minute drive and if it was commute time even longer, and now it's a shorter drive for my husband to his job. 

My husband has started to look at what his strengths are and how God is using this time too reshape him.  Also learning that giving up all the material things we sought after wasn't anything close to loosing people we love.

My daughter is now enrolled in the top rated middle school in the area, and is doing well with A's and B's.  She has a sweet group of friends, and has become even closer to her youth group friends.  She's even looks at some of the public school discussions from a biblical point of view and we discuss them at home.

As my health had been on such a decline it has forced me to figure out alternatives from the western medicine, and God has been bringing people in my life to help and encourage me through this.  He has also rekindle an old passion of mine from my child hood, and that is animal rescue. For me it's dogs, specifically the misunderstood "Pit Bull"  he has been teaching me the simplest sweetest lessons from some of the most abused and broken dogs. 

Old friends that I haven't seen and talked to in years are now apart of my life again.  They make me laugh and support me and we can just laugh together.  I've made many new friends, some that have made such a huge impact on my life and some I've only met but feel like I've known them forever.

There are so many things that have come from the difficult times but isn't that the way God works.  It's in our weakness and sorrows that we find healing and strength that can only be given by God.

God has moved me to start blogging again.  To share with you, my journey to a healthier lifestyle. From the way I eat to working my way back up to being physically fit.  The lessons and stories of the dogs and other things that touch my heart.  And my journey through Proverbs.

I have given my self a challenge, to really learn to gain my wisdom through God.  We started a series at church on Ecclesiastics and also includes the Proverbs.  My goal is to read all of the Proverbs 1- 30 each month, and really soak them in.  Different versions of text, and study notes, over the next year.  I feel like God has somethings he wants to show me, to guide me and help me understand the changes we've been through. 

If you want to check in and see what I'm up to please do.  I appreciate any positive feed back. 

So hope to see you all around here and there. 

Carol

A Lesson I didn't expect

I started this post back about a week or so after my last post. Can that really be 6 months ago. Life goes by so quickly, I'm not even sure who'll read this post but I thought I'd write anyway. This last few months has been filled with lot's of activities, joy, and trials.

The day after we got back from our very fun filled trip to Disneyland, I landed in the emergency room with a new complication to my on going chronic illness. This newest complication was something that we hadn't experienced and we were faced with many unknowns. One of the things I do when I'm faced with a new trial in my life is ask Brett to take me to the beach. Something about the beach brings me close to God, sitting in the middle of the sand and watching his power displayed in the ocean it just brings me peace.

This visit was a bit different though. Back in August part of my complications was my right lung cavity filled with fluid and I couldn't breathe very well. So instead of my walk I usually take I sat and took pictures of my husband and daughter play in the waves. It gave me joy to watch them, because seeing the bond between them is such a gift for all 3 of us.

It wasn't until I got home until and looked through the photos that I discovered a lesson from God. At first the pictures showed me how Brinn had grown to love and trust Brett.....

When they first met Brinn was very cautious about her trust with Brett. She allowed very little contact. Then over time she would sit closer to him and even put his hand on his leg or maybe hold his hand. Testing to see how he would respond.

Then as time passed she began to sit in his lap, or asking him to play with her by wrestling or playing tug a war. Brett always allowing her to ask for the contact never pushing his love on her.

Then came the day when she started to hug him, and asking him to carry her, even to the point of falling asleep while he carried her or as she slept on his lap.

Then the day came, when she started to run to him and hug him, the day she asked him if she told him she just wanted to call him Daddy. Over the years she has grown closer and now knows her earthly father was given to her by God and the he will do whatever he can to protect her and love her. That even though she's not his biologically that she's his daughter not just by adoption but by the love in his heart for her.

When I saw these pictures I first thought what a beautiful picture of how they have grown together, and was thanking God for answering a prayer beyond what I could have ever imagined. Then God spoke softly and sweetly to me, "do you see the other picture I'm showing you. Look again there is something more in those pictures." I stared at these pictures there it was the lesson God was showing me.

This was my relationship with God. When I first came to the Lord, I was in turmoil, a new Christian with no understanding really of who and how powerful our God is. (I'm still learning that) So I reached out to him cautiously but desperately hoping he would respond to my cries. As my relationship has grown with God he's patiently waited as I learned to trust an rely on him, and learning how to rest in him.

Honestly it's something I learn to do everyday. The fall came with many new challenges for us. Brinn's little school suddenly had to make changes into the teaching staff right before school, sending a wave of unsure time through the kids, and the parents. Then October and November brought Brett 3 root canals and one of them abscessed causing him great amounts of pain. Which forced us into a spot of having to bring Brett through a time of using pain killers in a way that was safe. Not to mention the amount of money that those can cost and no dental insurance. God was faithful and carried us over those trials. Christmas quiet and fun, then New Years morning was an unexpected challenge arose. I ended up being taken from the house in an ambulance and was admitted to the hospital for a ruptured blood vessel in my esophagus and what given a transfusion for blood loss, as well as being in the hospital for 4 days.

So as I sat home, and recovering from my second surgical procedure to repair the damaged vein, I kept thinking of these pictures. Especially the last one, I just need to run into God's arms and let him lift me above the waves. He has blessed me in amazing ways, Brett, Brinn and I had so much support we couldn't have asked for anything more. Brinn always has safe and loving people who will pick her up, take her over night, spend time with her. Even her sweet friends running up to me and telling me they were glad to see me and asking me if I'd be okay. That Brinn could come stay overnight at there house too. Friends bringing soup, praying for us, checking on Brett. Of course our family here at the drop of a hat.

I'm not sure what trial you maybe facing but I know that God is waiting for you to run into His arms so He can hold you and keep you safe. The trial doesn't always go away. My health has been a trial for 9 years this month, one that God has been right by my side through. For whatever reason he has chosen to leave this illness in my life. I've learned to not ask God for reasons, just to ask that he use it to glorify Him, and when that time is done that He remove this disease from my body.

So hear is my verse I keep it close to me, may it bring you peace.

The Lord is good, a refuge in times of trouble.

He cares for those who trust in him... Nahum 1:7

Be back soon,

Carol

Wow that was a long break.

Hello all my dear friends in bloggy land. I'm sorry I've been away for so long. I meant to post at least once a month this summer, but life just seemed to go a bit crazy. Thank you so much for the prayers for my cousin Hugh and his wife Michelle.

Hugh is doing amazingly well. It has been such an unbelievable journey, and this accident has changed the life he and Michelle thought they were going to have, but they have been strong holding each other together, and have a simply wonderful group of people surrounding them with love. Sadly my cousin along with many other broken bones, lost his leg from the knee down, but has so much determined it makes the doctors amazed. Please continue to pray for him and his wife. They still have a long road of physical therapy, and learning to live this new life. This is the website of his story and the journal of his recovery if you would like to here more about his story. http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/hughster This is Brinn with her cousin Hugh. There have a special bond they share the same birthday. This was taken at a BBQ that Hugh and Michelle through for Hugh's village on October 18th. That was a group of friends and family that brought meals, and did many other things so that Michelle could concentrate on Hugh and his care.

Hugh told Brinn yesterday that they needed to have a big birthday bash next year, since he didn't get to celebrate his this year. She's also excited because Hugh said he'd teach her to fish. I'm not sure if she realizes that includes live bait or not. This next photo is my cousin Deanna, another amazing story, and one of my inspirations. She's Hugh's sister, and then me on the other side. Deanna is a couple months younger than me, and we are 3 of 4 younger set of cousins in my family. Sadly Darcy lives in Florida, so we don't have her in this shot. But she promised on Facebook next summer to come visit.

So after Brinn's birthday which was the last entry, Brinn went off to camp for a week. It was her first ever stay overnight camp. It's called Camp Hammer, she had fun and still talks about it. the jury is still out on if she wants to do it again. It's a Christian Camp up in the Santa Cruz Mountains, and she did great. She went there without knowing a sole, and ended with some fun memories and friends.

This is Brinn with the Pastor from Camp first thing she told us was how awesome he was. "Daddy you'd like him he's as good as Dr. McArthur" She told us all about the story of Joseph the subject he taught on through the whole week, was Faith. Brinn's favorite activity was the night games. She loved them.

It was also the first time ever for Brett and I to have a week completely by ourselves. Being a premade family, you forget that not everyone starts out with a child. So what did we do. Well Brett got this done. It's his one and only tattoo, but he'd been wanting one for a long time. I designed it. It's been interesting to see the reactions. Leo the tattoo artist pumped it up from my drawing, he made the cross all rugged. Some people just stare at it, some people just have to ask what is that word. "Tetelestai" John 19:30. Brett loves when people ask. He tells them it's what Jesus cried out on the cross before He gave up His Spirit, it means "It Is Finished". Jesus took on all sin of the world and finished Satan's hold on us, when He gave His life on the cross for you and me. It's very interesting to see peoples reaction to Brett's boldness. He's already thinking about the next one for the other arm. In answer to the next question No, I didn't get one. At least not yet *wink*. The rest of the time we went to dinner, went for a bike ride, took the dog for walks, and watched movies.

July was filled with various activities of day camps, one in which our church put on besides VBS, which was amazing in itself. This Adventure Camp, Brinn was a secret agent the first day, a painter the second, a scientist the third, a photo journalist the fourth, and on the fifth day she was a rock star. Her and her friends were able to record a song at our churches recording studio, and all the kids got a copy of the CD made. Pretty cool. I also took Brinn and her very special buddy Olivia for an overnight to the Embassy Suites, we celebrated Brinn's 10th birthday. They loved running around the hotel, swimming in the indoor pool, jumping on the beds, and the indoor gardens. Getting stuffies didn't hurt either.

Brinn took a big step out of her comfort zone this year. She's always gone to the same Summer Program at the school she goes to every year, this year we wanted her to try new and different things. So besides the big jump to Camp Hammer, she also broke through her stage fright. She went to a 3 week drama camp. Our families pastor wife Michelle, has an amazing gift in this and directs children's musicals for one of the school districts here. With her help we convinced Brinn to try the drama camp, and be in the Jungle Book Kids, Musical. Well not only did she perform in the background jungle animals, but she got the part of Shanti, the girl that takes Mowgli into the man village. She surprised us by her performance along with all the friends and family who came. She had a great time, and they worked really hard. It was very impressive, that the show these kids put on was put together in 3 weeks. They practiced 6 hours a day 5 days a week for 3 weeks. Here are a couple pics of her with us and her friend, and one with her director Michelle McCormick.

The next morning we left for our big event of the summer a family vacation. A real vacation, a go away and stay in a hotel vacation. The key thing was, we didn't tell Brinn our destination, all she new is we were going down to Southern California. The only thing we did tell her was we were going to go listen to Dr. John McArthur at Grace Community Church, her response was "That'll be interesting, are we going to do anything fun?" We told her their was an amusement park we may go to, and then we'd just see how the rest would go.

So here she is on our road trip down to So. Cal. She had no clue that our real destination was Disneyland. We drove right past it she was so wrapped up in what she was watching she didn't even see it, and when we got into the hotel lobby (and it was an extremely inexpensive hotel) she was very disappointed in the hotel. Then she was even more disappointed by the room, which I have to agree smelled funny. So we unloaded the car packed our backpacks, and headed to dinner. She saw all the banners celebrating Disneyland's 50th birthday, and as we walked right past Disneyland and the entrance, her mood went from a bit disappointed to bummed out. At that point we thought she'd figure it out, but she'd asked before school got out if we could go to Disneyland and we told her we couldn't afford it. So in her mind there was probably no way that we could go.

Then I told her she could pick anywhere she wanted to go and eat for dinner. Turning her toward Disneyland and said anywhere (except McDonald's) so guess where she picked. If you said Disneyland you were wrong. Captain Kid's Buffet, yep standing across from Disneyland she picks possibly the worst restaurant we've ever eaten at (should have let her pick McDonald's). Brett and I just looked at each other shrugged our shoulders and in we went. So finally after sitting down and eating, we decided to let her in on the plan. This is how the conversation went.

Me: Boo, Dad called ahead, and it turns out Dr. John McArthur is not in town this week, so we can't go see him speak. (we really were going to go on the Sunday if he was there)

Brinn: Oh, that's sad, I was kinda looking forward to actually seeing him instead of just listening to him on the computer.

Me: Really, your disappointed.

Brinn: Uh huh I like him. Mom this food is gross.

Me: Yeah, don't eat it if you don't like it. So anyway we came up with a back up plan. Dad and I got tickets to spend 5 Days in Disneyland instead. I hope that's okay.

Brinn: (Eyes really big) Serious, Oh my gosh you are the greatest parents ever.

Me: You didn't really think we'd take you stay in a grubby little hotel right across from Disneyland, and not take you did you.

Dad: Yeah, what kinda parent would do that.

Brinn: Well I thought we couldn't afford to go. So when are we going? Are we going in the morning?

Me: Nope, we are going right now, as soon as your done with dinner.

Brinn: Yes! you guys are the best, I'm done let's go!

Dad: (singing) We're going to Disneyland.

Brinn: Daaaad, someone might hear you.

Somethings don't change.

So here are some highlights.

Now there is a story behind the Star Wars pics. Brett is a huge Star Wars fan, everyone who knows us knows this. I was too, it just didn't carry quite so heavily into adult hood for me. We even played the theme music from the Throne room scene at the end of the original movie at our wedding as we walked back down the aisle together. Anyway Brinn has grown up with Star Wars everywhere in our house. She loves it, along with a few of her friends. So the first ride we went on was Star Tours (which is a Star Wars ride) Brinn's favorite part of the park is Tomorrow Land. She wanted nothing to do with the princesses, or being in Fantasy Land with all the classic Disney stuff. It was Star Tours, and Space Mountain every day. The back pack is her favorite souvenir. Yes it's R2D2, let me tell you she wore that thing everyday, and everyone commented on it. She only wanted a mickey mouse shirt with him as a Jedi and we all three had to get mini light sabers. Mine's purple. The pictures with Darth Vader, and the Storm Trooper were the only two characters she was interested in standing and waiting for. The others well "mom the lines are two long."

So there you have it how I spent my summer. It was busy, and vacation was a blast. On a last note I did end up in the ER twice after we got home from Disneyland. My liver disease developed two more complications, and it was a rough go around for us, but God as always speaks through the good and the difficult. I'll save that for another post. So I hope to get back to blogging more regularly now, you can keep up with me to on Facebook.

Blessings to you all. Talk to you soon. I'll be around to check up on your blogs soon.

Carol

Happy Birthday Brett The Big 30!

Today is my darling husband Brett's birthday. Yes my friends my hubs turned 30 today!. Brinn made (with a bit of assistance from mom) dad his favorite cake. White cake,and white frosting.

She lovingly put the candles in the shape of the numbers 30. And then sang him happy birthday. Brett of course took video of this on his phone. So what did Brett want to do for his birthday. Well as some of you may know Brett has 5 loves in his life. God, His Wife, Brinn, Home Theater, and Star Wars. For those of you didn't know this, the Home Theater is a passion. In fact I have a whole scrapbook dedicated to his home theater as it developed in our life together.

When we moved into our home one of Brett's big things was he wanted a Theater room. So here's one of the pages that shows Brett's theater room in our house. The problem with this was it was small and we could never have more than 3 people over the house. So we rarely had anyone over to watch movies. From a wife's point of view it was ugly. Yes the walls are all padded and it's entirely black.

Recently as God has grown and change Brett's heart so has the way Brett spends his time, and the movies he watches has changed. So now sitting alone away watching a movie is something he doesn't enjoy much. So Sunday night he said "I was thinking about moving the Theater equipment into the living room, what do you think?" My first response was "we won't be putting any black foam on the walls will we?" "No hun" was Brett's answer. Actually I thought it'd be cool, and besides now I've got Brett into the idea of painting the walls in the room so it was a bonus.
So last night the project went underway. This is Brett's idea of a good time, resetting up his theater. He couldn't sleep he was so excited.

So as it stands our "big tv" is now moved out of the living romm and will find a new space in the old theater room. Which will become a tv/game room. (Brett and I don't watch much tv.) Last night by this time all of the theater equipment had taken over the kitchen, and Brett had the screen on the wall.

Today he took the day off work, and pulled 5 speaker cables under the house, mounted speakers, and was coming up with a way to hang his projector from the ceiling. (that was my idea thanks to all those decorating budget shows). We also had to put up a new light fixture in the living room too.

So as it stands right now my darling husband is exhausted, and is taking tomorrow off. The projector is hung, the system plays, and we sampled the first viewing of what else Star Wars Episode 4. I now have a 92" screen on my wall, and the new house projects are mounting. But my darling hubs is happy, and it's pretty cool. Of course I'll post some pictures after everything is done. And for those of you whose hubbies are saying wow honey can we do that, I'm sorry. And in answer to the other man questions, yes he has Blue Ray. Yes we could watch the Super Bowl or the World Series on it, and yes we can even hook up our Wii on it.

So Happy Birthday Honey. I love you!.

Carol

Brett's Letter

I also wanted to share this letter that Brett wrote to the courts on why he wanted to adopt Brinn. (I couldn't find it this morning) Brett read this letter on a special Father's Day Dedication at our church, where Brett dedicated Brinn to the Lord and promised to raise her in the Truth of God's Word. This is a letter that expresses Brett's heart, and a little window into Brett himself.

Why I want to adopt my daughter Brinn Shemwell

Where do you begin a letter that involves one of the most important decisions and commitments that I will ever make in my life? If there is one thing I’ve learned in my 28 years of life on this planet it is to do all things in love. That’s what this letter is about my love for my most precious gift that God my father has given me the opportunity to do and that’s to adopt Brinn.

I will start with my own childhood experience which is similar to Brinn’s and that is my biological father left my mother, sister, and I the day before my ninth birthday. In actuality he hadn’t been there for several years before because he was devoting himself to another woman. The result of this was a lack of a father in my life, my sister’s life and my mom without a husband. I along with my family are still suffering from this loss today.

Over the years I have had low self esteem as a result of my fathers’ disappearance and had turned to the world for comfort. I found comfort in food, spending money and drugs to drown out my pain for many years.

I thank God that the story does not end there. Almost 6 years ago on March 4th I had my first date with my wife Carol and my daughter Brinn who was about 2 ¾ years old at the time. On our first date Brinn let me know she wasn’t going to share her mother very easily, because all night she would say to me “my mommy” in the most loving and serious tone. I look back now and I laugh because I can see God was telling me in the most simple way that if you want one you have to want both and I very much did. Six months later while out for ice cream Brinn asked me to be her Daddy and I tearfully agreed! On December 24th I asked Brinn if it would be okay if I married her mommy and she said yes, and Carol and I were engaged that evening. The three of us were married on May 16th 2003.

Over the next few years our pastor at the time would call us the perfect family in some ways we were, but in many other ways we were not, but what family is. Even though I still have issues from my past and current life to deal with I have always tried to be the best father for Brinn that she needs in her life.

I have talked about adopting Brinn for about 3 years now while learning what it means to be a parent who loves their child with his whole heart, a husband who loves his wife with his whole heart, and to love myself for who God created me to be and to love God. That being said I believe I am ready and fit to move forward in this adoption process. I have been given a new life as I have reached over 1 year of sobriety and turned all areas of my life over to God and he has blessed me more that I can tell you over the last year. I believe that God directs our steps and God has finally brought me on this journey and to the adoption of Brinn.

I want to adopt Brinn because she’s my daughter, the one who God has given to me. She’s my daughter in everyway but in a legal sense. Not only is she my daughter but she’s my friend, we have been through tough times together as a family, as a father daughter, and personal hurts and sadness. I have watched her grow since she was 2 ¾ years old to right now at the age of 8, we have laughed together, played together, run together, swam together, done homework together, been places together, and cried together, we have been a father and a daughter together. I try to give Brinn what every little girl needs from a father. I give her love, direction, purpose and security of knowing that this father won’t leave her. I would love to give her a father recognized through the legal system in order to give her a legal commitment in which she would be secure if something were to happen to her mother, (which is a possibility due to her illness of Autoimmune Hepatitis) that she wouldn’t loose the only father that’s cared for her. The adoption is also a statement of my commitment to her that I want the responsibility of being her legal father and I can only imagine the security she will get from that later in life.

The future is not promised to any of us, everyday we wake every breath we take is a gift from God. My wife and daughter are my 2 greatest gifts I’ve been given from God along with his saving grace. I Brett Lueckfeld pray that I will be granted the privilege of adopting Brinn, and being her father in everyway possible, in order to provide her a safe loving Godly upbringing that my wife and I want her to have.


Respectfully yours,



Brett Carl Lueckfeld

Happy Adoption Anniversary

It's hard to believe it's been 1 year since Brett's adoption of our daughter Brinn was finalized by the judge. Yes 1 year ago today on April 1st, 2008 Brinn was legally recognized by the government law as Brinn's Father. (No Foolin) A position that God had actually given and granted him 5 years earlier. I wanted to share pictures of that moment with you.

This is us in the judges chambers. She did all the adoptions. Brett's mom was there along with my friend Cynde, and Kim. Kim's two daughters went to school with Brinn and were adopted by Kim and her husband 2 years earlier, so she took them out of school that morning so they could be there to support Brinn. How sweet is that.

Here we are signing the papers. The judge asked Brinn if she wanted to have Brett adopt her and she said yes, he's already my daddy anyway.

Kim gave this bear to Brinn with a little shirt that says Happy Adoption Day, Brinn, and the date, the bears name is April. The judge had a bookshelf full of stuffed animals and little toys. When the adoption was complete and Brett was all signed up as official daddy. The judge let the 3 girls each pick a toy from the shelf.

Here we are with the judge. The stuffy Brinn picked is her monkey Momo. He's been her best bud this last year. Tonight we are off to Chili's Brinn's favorite restaurant to celebrate. I imagine Momo will come too. God has blessed us greatly.

When Brinn and I were on our own, I had accepted that it would probably be just her and I. I knew that God would be our husband and father. But God went beyond that. He answered my prayer that Brinn wouldn't have to endure a life of going back and forth between me and her bio father. He provided Brinn a whole family, and when Brett turned his life over to the Lord allowed him the sealing of our family through an earthly venue, and showed us His blessing over our family.

One of the hardest things we faced when we started the adoption process was telling Brinn that Pat had released his rights as her father. She hadn't seen him in almost 3 years, but the words that came from her broke my heart. She said with tears welling up in her eyes "He gave me away". At only 7 years old she figured out. Brinn was hurt and just didn't understand how come Pat didn't want to be with me and her. "Why didn't he want to be with us Mommy." Not an easy question to answere.

Through the adoption the Lord also provided something else that Brinn needed. That was a commitment to her that Brett loved her just for her, not because she came as part of the deal when he married me. It showed her that he would not leave her, that he choose her to be his daughter. Just as God our Father chooses us to be His children. Since that day Brinn's attachment and love for her daddy has changed. She grew to love Brett, but now she's different with him. She doesn't keep a distance between them, she's learning to trust her dad, that his commitment to her is real. I pray that she gives that same trust to her Heavenly Father.

Thank you Lord for your blessing of love upon my family.

I'm going to double up on my Yes to God posts. Things have been busy here. So I'll be by in the next few days to read your posts.

Love,

Carol

Has it really been 7 years?

Today is the 7 year anniversary of mine and Brett's first date. Seven years ago Brett came over to have dinner with Brinn and I. Brinn was a little more than 2 1/2 years old. I'll never forget thinking why would this young buck, then just 22, want to spend time with a 36 year old single mom. I had totally missed all the clues of him hinting around that he was interested in me. When he finally just came out and asked me, my first question was do you have any idea how old I am, because I knew how old he was. He guessed a lower age, and when I told him, he said doesn't matter to me. Then I said you realize I have a 2 year old, (that should scare him off I thought) I like kids he said. Then I told him that my daughter is always with me her bio father only sees her about twice a month for a few hours. He said that's okay with me. So I gave him my phone number, and after some long phone conversations, I figured I'd invite him for dinner to see what my life was like. He'd either leave and never come back, or he'd stick around.

So he came for dinner, not a very good one at that, and we had fun talking and he even endured Brinn's first year scrapbook (now that's a boy that wants to impress). The next thing I knew he was over all the time. Brinn took her time with him, and she made it very clear to him that I was her mommy, and sharing me was not something that she was going to do easily. Brett patiently waited for her to grow comfortable with him. Brinn discovered things that she'd look forward to Brett being over to do, and slowly grew closer and closer to him. So here we are 7 years later a family of 3. You just never know what plans God has for you.

I thought I'd share a picture of Brett and I at his mom's house on our first Thanksgiving together. My other pics were taken with film, and are in a scrapbook, so this was taken with my first digital camera.

And of course you have to see a picture of Brinn, around the same time. She wasn't quite sure what to make of the man eating dinner at our house that night. The only men that ate with us were her Uncles, so she spent most of the first night just watching him.

She's a quick study and learned pretty quick how to charm Brett and had him wrapped around her little finger with in a couple of months. Seriously who could say no to that face.

But at you can see by the time our first Christmas came they were growing closer together, and she'd even taken to calling him daddy Brett. Brett asked Brinn if he could marry her mommy on Christmas Eve and that's when we got engaged.

I never anticipated meeting someone and getting married again, in fact I was actually pretty content being single and just lovin on my sweet Brinn. God however had different plans, and I'm so glad that God didn't let my plans get in the way. God has blessed me with such a wonderful family. My heart rejoices at how much we've grown as a family, and how much God's love fills our home.

Carol

Here's what I've been doing in December

Well Happy New Year, are you ready for 2009? I didn't blog much in December, honestly it was busy, and well frankly I have to admit that I was spending way to much time on the computer. I have a love hate relationship with Facebook, it's so easy to get caught up in it. Especially all those little fun thingies you send back and forth. I do love Facebook though, it's fun to keep up with friends old and new on it.

I thought I'd share some highlights from the December activities in the Lueckfeld home, and a bit of our Christmas too. First up are pictures of us at Bethel Church in San Jose, our friends invited us to the Christmas performance the put on. It was impressive full Orchestra and all, what a talented group of people.

What would Christmas be with out kids and cookie making be? Brinn had two of her friends over to make Christmas Cookies and a sleep over. They had a blast mixing colors, and decorating the cookies.

The girls even made gingerbread shaped solider cookies. One of the girls brother was home on leave, and she made him a special cookie, with a special color mix of Army Green. Brinn made a cookie in honor of my father, the Grandpa she's hoping to meet in Heaven.

Brett is difficult to buy for, and the last couple years I've made him a gift. Last year I made him a scrapbook that represent his first 18 months of sobriety, and more importantly how God grew and changed him. For Father's day I altered a frame for him with the word Father and a scripture on it. For Christmas he asked me if I could make him something with the word TETELESTA which in the Greek mean's "It Is Finished" So the canvas below (sorry not a great picture) I made him using a print of the famous "Forgiven" painting, and 5 sections of scripture. John 19:28-30,(at the top) Jude 24-25 (at the bottom) Ephesians 1:7-8 (top left) Romans 6:6-7 (bottom left) and John 1:14 (right). It brought me such Joy to search the scriptures to find the ones that spoke to this picture and the amazing gift that was truly given to us on Christmas. Brett loves it and we'll hang it up this weekend next to his fathers day gift. Now the other pages are a sample of the calendar pages I made for gifts to my mom, grandma in law, mother in law and father in law. They are some of my favorite pictures through the year.

Okay, so now be kind, it's Christmas morning. Brett spoiled me and Brinn. I got jewelry, cd's and my new Tracy Jo Camera Bag with the matching camera strap. But my favorite is this statue I'm holding. It's Jesus and the Women at the Well. That section of the Gospel, is one where I've always heard Jesus speak to me. I love this, and the sweet carving of the lady in my new title picture was what Brinn picked out for me. She said it reminded her of me and I loved that when she sees a women arms stretched out looking to the heavens it makes her think of me. It sits in front of our wedding picture.

Brinn's gift to Daddy this year was a Polymer Clay Shark she made (with a bit of help from mom). Brett loves shark documentaries, and so Brinn was insistent that this is what she make. It really turned out good, and it has a smile, so it's a nice shark. Brett and I are the first to admit that we go way overboard at Christmas. We love giving our BooBear (as we call her) gifts, especially on Christmas. This year Brinn got lots of fun stuff, Cd's, puffels, and Lego sets. The big gift this year though was........ a Wii game.

As you can see she was excited. I've never been a big fan of video games, but I have to say that this one is fun. We also got the Wii fit board, very cool but a little unsettling. (I'll save that for another post. Even Nikita made out with her treats of extra thick beggins, which as you can see from the picture she is doing her one and only trick. And that's praise. Yep our dog praises!

And then she's thankful.

Well that's a brief highlight into December. We had a lot of other stuff going on too. I'll be back tomorrow to post with my bloggy sisters and the Yes to God Bible study.

Happy New Year to you all.

Love,

Carol