Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Ch 1 - Not So Well with My Soul

It's the first chapter in the Yes To God Study hosted by Lelia. We are delving into the book Self Talk Soul Talk by Jennifer Rothschild. Lelia once again thank you for your openness and dedication to hosting these studies. You rock girlfriend. If you haven't stopped by and visited Lelia on her blog Write From the Heart, please do it will bless you, even more so visit some of our other fellow Yes To God bloggers, they are all wonderful women of faith and each has a unique story and the way the share it.

On with Chapter 1. Do you talk to yourself? I do, not always out loud, but there is always a dialog going on in my head. That's what this book is about. What we say to ourselves and how it can either be destructive or constructive. Self Talk, those things we tell ourselves about ourselves all that negative stuff we believe about ourselves.

Jennifer explains it this way, "We grow so accustomed to our own self talk that we don't even recognize its corrosive nature and the damage we're inflicting on our own souls." I don't know about you but that really hit me. How many times last year did I say to myself your not a good wife you can't hardly get off the couch, or look how you've let yourself go what happened to you, and on an on. You don't fit in with these people they don't want to be your friend. Then Jennifer hit me with this, "The truth is, our self talk actually begins to shape the life we live, affecting our very destiny. What you think and say to yourself will impact the texture, color, and music of your life." Wow, how true had that become for me.

I struggle with self-esteem, I can look at myself and have a flow of thoughts about how worthless, ugly, and unnecessary I am; not 30 seconds after my husband has totally told me the exact opposite. Jennifer likened the thoughts we store over our life time to a closet.

The thought closet, now what woman can't relate to a closet full of stuff we collected over time that is ugly and out dated, but for some reason we can't seem to let it go. She says this," I seem to have a secret closet tucked somewhere in the hallways of my mind. A thought closet. And what I had been storing n the closet wasn't good at all: shelves and racks and bins full of hidden thoughts, secret insecurities, lies, illusions, and reminders of former failures." Well back up the U-Haul ladies it's time to empty that closet and replace that Self Talk with Soul Talk.

Soul Talk is speaking the truth of the Scriptures and what God says to us and about us, and replacing that negative Self Talk with soothing loving words form our Lord that soothe our Souls. Words and dialouge that God wants us to know, believe and embrace about who He is, how much He loves us, and it's what He created us to be that we should focus our thoughts on, not the junk that we've filled our closet with.

This reminds me of when Brett was first in recovery. He would tell me about the constant battle he had with the thought of his own mind. His thought closet was full of condemnation, shame, embarrassment, and instructions of how to get pills, excuses to cover it, or how to get lost in the world of lust. It plagued him. I remember that in order to battle that he would go the the bible and he clung to these 3 Scriptures:
First one 2 Corinthians 10:5 We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take every thought captive to make it obedient to Christ.
The second was 1 Corinthians 10:13 No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it. This one he actually had on a dog tag he wore all the time.
The third one was the one Jennifer referred to in her book Romans 12:2 Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is -- his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Brett did more than memorize these verses he would recite them whenever he felt those old nasty self talk would creep into his head. He was actually doing what Jennifer is telling us to do. He was replacing his destructive thoughts that had lead him into such darkness, and replacing them with promises from God and God transformed his thoughts and He promised.

So what's my inventory in my closet. After the last study I believe I've found the closet and turned on the lights. I found tons of negative ugliness in there, but I believe I started the removing of some of the negative and now there is more neutral than there use to be. I believe I'm ready now to do a deep cleaning of the closet, and remove those boxes from the 70's, 80's, 90's and even the recent ones added. I'm ready to fill my closet with Soul Talk. I'll leave you with the closing thought Jennifer had in Chapter 1.
"When you speak truth to your soul, you'll live out the truth. Your soul talk really can help it become well with your soul."



Cindy said...

Do you have room in that U-Haul for my stuff too?

I know I've done alot of work this past year but I'm sure there are cobwebs holding onto old thoughts hanging around in the 'closet' of my mind.

We go this journey together.
Bless you, Cindy

Liz said...

Hi Carol!! I have missed you and so glad you are back, but I do understand where you were. Also, I love your new is the one I chose too!
SOoooooooo, we are all closet cleaning. I totally know what you are talking about with Brett, been doing some of that myself, as you know. Changing those negative thoughts with positive ones is easier said than done, especially when we have kept that closet door closed and locked for a long time!
It is nice to have your company while we do this work!

Heather@Mommymonk said...

Back up the Uhaul...that was funny :) I think I need to have a grand bonfire though, and just stamp out those thoughts forever!

Laura said...

"So what's my inventory in my closet. After the last study I believe I've found the closet and turned on the lights. I found tons of negative ugliness in there, but I believe I started the removing of some of the negative and now there is more neutral than there use to be. I believe I'm ready now to do a deep cleaning of the closet, and remove those boxes from the 70's, 80's, 90's and even the recent ones added. I'm ready to fill my closet with Soul Talk."

Amen, Carol! Let's do some soul talkin'! (I keep hearing that BeeGees song, Jive Talkin' in my head)

I'm ready to dig deep and turn on those lights!

Anonymous said...

I am so glad that you have found the "closet" through the last study. I learned so much about opening up and being real and taking risks in that one.

Now I know it is time to clean up even more of my self talk, and turn it into soul talk.

I know God has me in a "holding pattern" right now. I am preparing to land, but haven't been given the go-ahead yet. There are things I need to do, and scripture I need to learn, and need to learn more dependence on God. There is no way I am going to be able to do any ministry, unless I am able to combat the lies the devil has been feeding me for so long... and i have bought right into them. If I try a ministry, I find myself defeated before I even start (found this true many times in the past) because of all the "I can't" thoughts.
I even struggled with that BIG TIME when I became a worship team leader at church. I am not picking music yet myself, but I am leading out the singers, and organizing everything... lead the congregation, do any speaking or scripture reading. At first it was so nerve wracking that I was almost sick each time I had to get up there. Now it is better, I am more comfortable with the process. But it has taken a lot of prayer and encouragement from others.

I know we will both get there. It just seems so hard to try to transform our thoughts... but it is only by the renewing of our minds... replacing all the ugly things in our closets with the beautiful, timeless, awe-inspiring Word of God.
God bless you, and I am so glad you are here, that you are joining us, and most of all that you are my friend and sister,
In Christ,

Shabby Olde Potting Shed said...

Hey Carol,
I'm so happy to have read your blog tonight. Boy could I relate in many areas; we are peas in a pod... SISTERPEAS!
I'm anxious to come back and read more but it's super late.
Pat Nakita the wonderdog for me!

Connie said...

Hi Carol,

I'm so glad you've turned on the light and are finding the true you. It's been fun sharing with you and getting to know you. Keep the positive talk going! Connie

Paula said...

Thank you Carol! Your post is wonderful! I need a literal cleaning out of my closets as well as a mental clean out. I might look up Uhaul over here too and join you! Where you write - "I believe I'm ready now to do a deep cleaning of the closet, and remove those boxes from the 70's, 80's, 90's and even the recent ones added.", I'm ready to join you. I am trying not to cry here as I think of all the garbage that I have held onto the same decades, and recently. I need to be free of all of it! I can't wait for next week's posts now! This is an exciting study. Love ya, P :-) xo

Denise said...

I am loving the idea of the Uhaul! Pack it up and move all that useless stuff out of here!

When I think of all the years I have allowed this junk to accumulate - Whew - but glad to know it is getting OTD (out the door) of my head!


Gail W. said...

Hi Carol! Thanks for coming by my place, and thanks for the truth of what you have written here. Great image with the U-Haul - makes me think maybe I should just get one of those dumpsters and leave it in the yard a while! Great to "meet" you:)

Stacy said...

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I loved the u-haul analogy. Thus far, I am loving the experiences I'm having with an on-line Bible study. God Bless!

Paula (SweetPea) said...

Sweet Carol,
I love how you shared how Brett clung to the scriptures during his recovery. It's funny how you mentioned 2 Cor.. 10:5. I don't know if you've read all of chapter two yet. I just typed my post. (IF nothing else, doing an online study keeps me accountable to posting every week and on Tuesday). This verse is in chapter two and I quoted it in my post.

Then, 1 Cor. 10:13. Oh, how I love that temptation has seized me...

I like the Romans 12:2 verse also. There is so much in God's word, huh? I've often thought I wish I could memorize it all. I'm doing good to keep what's memorize and straight in my head.

Honey, we've ALL got tons of ugliness. However, we have the opportunity for one fabulous Home Makeover...a Soul Makeover by the Creator of all. Amen?!!

I like Jennifer's closing thought also. Speak truth. Live truth.
Much love to you.