Then tonight as Brett and I sat in the living room we heard her first real hang out on the phone with a friend conversation. Before that it was do you want to come over okay bye. They talked on the phone while they played club penguin, together online. Brett turned to me and said it's starting the tween years are here.
Part of this is exciting, it's fun to see her grow into a really sweet girl, with a loving heart, and a loving heart for God. Yet it scares me, I remember so much my preteens and teen years and they were hard. I want hers to be different, than mine. I pray protection of her everyday, pray for her to have the confidence that I didn't have.
Today I was reading one of my favorite blogs Behind the Eyes by Lisa Whittle, and she expressed my heart for Brinn to the tee. I think it's the heart of every mom. Here is just a bit of her post. I encourage you to go to her blog Lisa is one of my inspirations.
"~Who she is…is not what she looks like.She is beautiful, but not because God gave her the prettiest hair I have ever seen. She will never be more beautiful in her life than when she is serving God. And that will not require her wearing a certain type of shoes or a really cute pair of sunglasses.
~Who she is…is not what she does.God may lead her to become a wife and mother one day. Maybe she’ll teach school or become a professional pianist or decorate homes or be a church secretary. But those are just ways she can fulfill a life call. They don’t make her who she is. God took care of that at her conception. She is His beautifully created daughter. Period. End of story.
~Who she is…is not what someone expects her to be.She doesn’t have to say yes to someone when she really means no. She doesn’t need to think gaining someone’s love means compromising who she is or what she feels or thinks. Her value is not measured by the influences of others.
~Who she is…is good enough.She was purposefully crafted…lovingly designed…and is dearly treasured. Her worth is immeasurable to a God who cherishes her every thought and movement. She is good enough without winning trophies or ribbons or tiaras or awards. Those things have nothing to do with who she is.
I don’t want her to think she has to wear lip-gloss to be pretty. I know as she grows older, it is nearly inevitable, but I wish it weren’t so. I know she may…at some point…believe what society tells her about her worth and value. I know she may spend time trying to please everyone around her and think it has to be so in order to be loved. I know she may sometimes forget how important she is and that she is cherished and treasured. But I wish it weren’t so."
One of the things the Lord had to redo my heart on was school. Brinn goes to a small private Christian School, it's like family, the teachers know all the children, they love them truly and besides the education she gets there it's easy to have my hand in everything. We only have 2 years before she heads to Jr. High school, and this has weighed heavy on my heart. At first I was she has to continue in Private School, but the more I learned about the private Jr. High programs, the more God started to work on my heart. The homework level is 3 to 4 hours a night, and while that might be fine for some, Brinn is not driven academically and the pressure to get her grades required were already putting to much pressure on her. I remember the peer pressure to fit in and be apart of the right group, and for some reason I had it in my head that it would be less worldly at a private Christian School (I know I know not true)
I realized I wasn't trusting God to put her where He wanted her to be, that I was working my plan and not looking for God's plan, and forcing my ideas and what I wanted on her. God has reminded me that just as His plan for me is the best for me, His plan for Brinn is what's best for her. That her faith and how she learns to love and see God work will always start in our home, and if God is the center of our home she will see Him work. I can't make that choice for her. He promises us that in Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. God has always provided for Brinn and I in every way. Of course he would provide and have plans for Brinn, He created her for a special purpose, beyond being my daughter. He just blessed me by in trusting me with her as her mom.So as the little signs of a teenage years start to break through I'm praying differently. Praying for God to protect her, to call her to him, to show me his will for me, and to give me the courage and insight to step out of His way when it comes to His will for Brinn.
As for Brett, well let's just say I feel sorry for the boys who have any crushes on our little girl. He's already telling Brinn all boys who want to date her must be interviewed by daddy. I guess in his heart she'll always be his little girl.